I am taking a lot of dance classes this fall probably which makes me happy because dance is the one thing that brings me joy but you can see my cuts through the required pink tights and I haven’t told my family that I cut. Plus, so now if I need to cut I’ll have to do it only on my stomach?! Idk if I can do that. Also, I’m really sad because I will never be a professional dancer because I got such a late start but I really wish I could be-because dance is the only thing holding me together right now. I wish I had started earlier in my life. And a family member spent time with this girl that we both don’t know very well and I hid it very well but I’m so jealous because nobody likes me and I will always be alone because of all of my baggage. I’ve never had a friend or even had dinner or spent time with someone. Really sad and depressed right now…
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I feel you, it really must be depressing to be so lonely. But I’m sure there is a way for you to make friends who won’t judge you for your baggage. And it is never to late to become a professional at something! Just hold onto dancing if it makes you happy.
Also, I can understand your problem with your cuts. I had a similiar problem, unfortunately I’m not able to help you with that… but I hope the best for you.
Thank you for encouraging me. I seem to drive everyone away but thank you for saying this though! I always appreciate when someone can understand where I’m coming from :). Hopefully nobody will mention my cuts…what should I say if someone asks?
You’re welcome! It makes me happy that I can help you. ^^
Well, I didn’t have a big problem with that, since most people understand the situation and don’t mention them.
However, if there should be someone asking about them, there are two options I can think of, depending on which state your cuts are in. One being honest and tell the truth (which would be very brave) or – what I always say – that those are personal/you prefer not to talk about it. Last thing is something most people should understand.
Thanks! I’m just worried that a teacher will mention them to my parents or something…
No problem! And I can understand you, I was worried as well at that point. But fortunately they first talked to me.
I hope for you that your teacher won’t say anything without including you first. However, there may come the time where you have to tell your parents about it, and I wish you the best of luck that everything will go well if you are trapped in such a situation.
Thanks 🙂
You’re welcome. ^^
Don’t tell yourself that you will always be alone. All of that “baggage” you have, has shaped you into a different kind of person, one that understands pain and suffering, one that can look at the finer things in life that other people will never notice. Someone will come along and very much appreciate the person you are. I feel like it’s been forever since I have seen one of your posts, but I am glad to see you still have your dancing to look forward to. Please keep trying, and keep your mind busy away from your problems.
First off, I love your username.
Secondly, as others have said, if dancing makes you happy, isn’t that the most important thing?
I think that’s the most sustainable way to be professional at anything anyway, having a passion for it. E.g. André Agassi was sort of forced to play tennis, as far as I recall, and he became very good at it, but hated the sport inside, and ended up abandoning it.
You can’t change that you didn’t start earlier, but not everyone who was ever good at something started out early.
Why do you cut? I think that is a more important question than “How do I hide my cuts from my parents and my dance class?”
You say that no one likes you, but are you sure? And even if it’s true, how do you know that will always be the case?
It’s totally understandable to feel lonely and jealous and left out, but don’t begrudge others their happiness. If they can connect, maybe you can too.
Don’t wait for others to like you. Find people you like and spend time with them. Invite them to do something together. E.g. tag along to your dance class or just have lunch together.
I am just terrible at social interaction. I freak out if I have to even be around people and I probably have social anxiety because I can’t even speak to people. Why do I cut? I cut because I hate myself. I hate literally everything about myself and I cut because of the raw empty hole of depression inside of me. I cut because I want to hurt myself and psychotic as it sounds, I actually enjoy the pain and blood. Who would want to be friends with someone like this?
I would. I understand this stuff and I am the same way. Doesn’t make either of us psychotic, it’s just an unhealthy way of coping. There are others who will either understand or look past the superficial stuff, there are people like that, they are just fewer in number it seems like. I dont know why people get offended and jumpy when this kind of stuff comes up. Guess they just don’t know how to deal with it.
Don’t worry, there are people that would be friends with you. If I met you in person, I’m sure I would like to be friends with you, since I’m able to understand your situation. And I’m sure there are people where you live who would think the same way as I.
I know it is hard to speak to people, but you may consider to speak with someone who can help you defeat your social anxiety. It was a difficult way for me, but in the end I was able to find a therapist who I can talk with and it really helps. I’m sure it would help you as well.