Im 28 and I don’t k ow what I am doing with my life anymore. I am going on a second divorce mid you its really my fault to begin with. I never cheated but put things like my job or games ahead of my marriage. I have 2 amazing kids and yet I know my marriage is ending she texted me today about it. But now that I know its ending I really just don’t wanna live at all. Not because she’s going to leave me but I just don’t have the drive to anymore. I lost my dad to cancer and that was horrific and I can’t tell my mom what I am going through just because I don’t want to burden her. I really just don’t know what to do today I took a straight razor and ran it down my arms not too hard but enough to let me know its there no real blood was drawn but I felt pain and I didn’t seem to mind. the only thing stopping me is my oldest daughter she’s 3 she gets up a lot in middle of the night and I don’t want her to find me bloody and dead on the living room couch. I think I am going to just hang myself to be really honest I watched a few videos on knots and who where I can do it away from my girls but so someone can find me and have disposed of properly. I honestly don’t know what I am even doing here I was just browsing the net on stuff like this and this place kinda called to me. my life a wreck. I am 28 got huge debt and my credit is shot due to some one in my past. I never really fully recovered but nothing has been going my way for years now I really think this is it for me tonight. I just don’t know what I am doing right now I will just drink more and think about what I am going to do this fuck man peace.
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Hey –
I just want you to know that you’re not alone –
I’m 51, and fighting like hell to keep it together – My life is fucked up too – not everything goes the way we plan, or the way we wish it would. I’ve been divorced twice, 4 kids, 3 different fathers. Yep – LOTS of mistakes.
My daughter is getting married next month – she’s 25 – and if I had given up, well, I wouldn’t be going to see her start to live her life – hope she has it better than I did.
The difference is I am her Mum, not her Dad – but I’m pretty sure that one day she’ll be happy to have you walk her down the aisle – maybe you could live for her for now, until you find yourself. I know how hard it is – how fucking lonely it is – but don’t give up – not yet.
Yep, we all make mistakes – but ending it is a mistake you can’t fix..
Hope you find peace and get through it all – lost my Dad to cancer too, 5 years ago this summer. I miss him every second – its horrible. Stay strong x
You sound like a wonderful person I’m actually 12 and I have breast cancer. My mom just recently left me and my dad. And I feel the same way about hurting myself but reading your story kind of made me feel a little more confident. Even if you guys get a divorce means you’ll get to and want to spend more time with your children. I’m sure their amazing I’m a child myself and I visit my mom every once in a while.but please don’t kill yourself I would be devistated if my dad did that my dad is the world to me he’s the only thing that keeps me from killing myself. My mom has huge credit card debt and she just a teacher that doesn’t get paid much and she’s slowing paying it. Just remember that it takes time to heal . Please don’t do it! Do it for me and you children!
You should look into Stoicism:
Worry about those things you CAN control, let the rest go.
See if bankrupcy is available to you. At least where i live it can reset credit and there are are a couple different types to claim.
I’m 28 too. I don’t have any hopes for future. I really understand your suffer. I’m married but my husband is most of time not with me… I’m lonely and I feel i want to end my life… I hope we can talk if you need someone to talk.