Attraction to Cartoon Characters

I think I know why I’m feel attached and attracted to cartoon characters, yet feel so detached to real life people. This behavior harms me because I feel so lonely all the time, yet when I’m around people I feel overwhelmed or in fear around them. I had this attraction to 2-D drawings since I was a kid. As a kid, it’s normal to be attached to your parents. Since my dad was an asshole, me and my brother hated him, saw him as the bad guy, so maybe I to look for a male role model elsewhere. Since I didn’t have another male role model, I had the TV to look else where. Plus, aren’t girls suppose to subconsciously be attracted to their fathers? So maybe I directed that attraction elsewhere.

Another theory is that I learned to disassociate from reality or from people is that matter because I been hurt from my narcissistic parents so much. I distrust people, and since I need someone to latch on to, maybe fictional characters were enough, or maybe I’m just a huge nerd. 🙂

I remember in high school when the students were given an activity to decorate this wheel that tells them about themselves. They had their role model. Since my class were girls, they listed mostly their moms. Some listed parents, but listed the Final Fantasy characters. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I was the only one in that small group that stood out in that part. I just thought that I was weird.