I felt hope for a bit

August 12th, 2017by BeforeIGo97

I always thought I was very unattractive and I still think I am just a little bit less. I downloaded tinder out of curiosity. I matched with someone who apparently lived close. Got her number and we hung out. And for the time that we hung out time went still. And I felt like normal wrather than depressed. It was a weird feeling like I finally found the source of my depression. Loneliness, I always had friends so I never was lonely in that sense. But I haven’t been in a relationship since I was 13 I am now 19. I think my mind has associated having a girlfriend with being happy. These friends bug me about girls bug me about being a virgin and it weighs heavy on my chest. So when I met with a female for the first time in ever it changed my perspective on things. Unfortunately we haven’t really talked too much since although I still attempt. Slowly the happiness effect is fading and we are going back to regular mental illness level. But for the first time in awhile I felt something although the Plummet back down is scaring me out of my mind…

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