i hate the way i look

  August 14th, 2017 by iamdarling

i am ugly – my eyes are ugly. everything else about me is fine, perfect, even, but my eyes – they are so ugly.

i don’t know what has happened to them – they used to be pretty. the past few years, they have started to change, for some reason. the only way i can ‘fix’ it is by wearing winged eyeliner and eyeliner on my waterline, and sometimes they can look great, but usually, they don’t. i mean, they look decent, as i’m pretty good at makeup, but two minutes after applying the eyeliner on my waterline, it just doesn’t look as good as it did when i first put it on, which changes how my eyes, and then the rest of my face, look.

it makes me very upset, and has made me lose a lot of confidence – i mean, i have social anxiety too, but i feel as though if my eyes were pretty, it would make my entire face look pretty, and i would feel confident enough to be able to do normal, everyday things. you wouldn’t believe how different i look with and without makeup on.

i’ve tried to understand why my eyes have changed these past couple years. i used to suffer from trichotillomania, and would pull my eyelashes out, except, i developed that at age 8, and my eyes didn’t start changing until around 10 years old. i’m 13 now, and even though all my lashes have grown back, my eyes don’t look how they used to. is it just what is natural, and am i just going to have my eyes and my face like this forever? will i be ugly forever?

 

(ps – i just joined this website, i don’t know how to look or even respond to comments or messages, so, sorry if i don’t reply)

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