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i’m wasting my time here

by iamdarling

time is seeming to move so fast, yet so slow –

i spend everyday doing the same things; scrolling aimlessly though the internet for hours, playing video games, watching tv…

i’ve been doing this for… five years now (more in the past couple) and, now, it’s almost the new school year… where has all the time gone? individual days are too slow but overall, time is too quick.

i’m 13. i won’t get these years back. i’m wasting my time here. i’m wasting my life.


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iwouldrathernot 8/22/2017 - 5:46 am

I can really relate to you, kid. This makes me really sad and I’m sorry that you’re sad. You remind me of me sometimes.

iwouldrathernot 8/22/2017 - 6:12 am

No but really, if it’s worth anything to you l hope you can get out of the cycle. I hope you can be happy.

water 8/22/2017 - 6:47 am

Funny.. same thing with me. 5 years too but it started when I was 16.5 and now I am 22. Same concerns. I had the PERFECT linchpin but it was stripped from me. It truly was perfect. Worth more than all the money in the world. Now it’s gone forever.

A little off topic but when you are 14, I recommend you start taking college classes. You should get an AA-T before graduating highschool. I say this so you don’t feel like you are wasting even more of your life away because highschool = garbage. If you have average intelligence, it will feel like an insult to even be there. Ap tests/classes = garbage as well. College classes from a community college is the way to go.

Make an academic plan with a college counselor (they do walk-ins usually). Again, college counselor, not a highschool counselor since they don’t know anything about this (based on my experience at least. My highschool counselor didn’t even give a crap about helping me register for college and long story short, she is part of the reason my life is jacked up. Small events can lead to HUGE domino effects). Take the placement test asap. Maybe even now. You will probably be placed in “remedial” math but who cares. You will be light years ahead of your peers. If you don’t feel quite ready, that’s fine. I would just register a few months before graduating middle school. Take some easy college class over the summer to get a feel.

Most classes really aren’t that different from highschool classes. I know because I am currently a junior (graduating late for a LOT of reasons. Mental institute, suicidal stuff, etc.).

water 8/23/2017 - 8:46 pm

Funny… I was thinking the same about nursing. I was going to pursue it but my head is too jacked up for it now. I used to care about people a lot but then I became an extremely cold person with little sympathy. When I used to be religious, I would actually pray for the well being of all human beings. Now, I think it’s wrong for people to reproduce.

Even if you don’t see yourself as intellectually smart, I still advise you to at least take one easy class (like some health class) over the summer just so you can get a feel for it.

Use “ratemyprofessor”. Just try to take your general eds after making an academic plan at least. Highschool is a waste of time in itself but it doesn’t have to be a complete waste of time. Trust me on this. Just go to your nearest community college and learn how to ride the bus/train, etc. It’s easy with a phone and google maps.

goodbyenora 8/22/2017 - 9:26 am

I was you 14 years ago. Sort of. Now I work with children and young teens and it breaks my heart you feel this way. I hope you find someone (friend or teacher or counsellor) who gives a shit about you and takes you out of this mess. You are welcome to chat to me anytime (I just joined this forum just to reply to your post- I don’t actually know if you can DM people.) I was a suicidal 13 year old and didn’t even totally understand it. So I get it. If you’re located in Australia I can advise on how to access free mental health services. Or maybe the first step is just to talk to someone and that’s okay too.

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