Been broken my entire life. It’s just come to a point where I just feel hopeless now, because if it hasn’t happened in several decades, what’s the likelihood that I’ll be better a year from now? 5 years from now? 10 years from now? to the day before I eventually die?
I’m tired of everyone saying “think positive” and “it’ll get better.” If it hasn’t gotten better after all these years and decades, what makes you think the heavens will magically open up and everything will suddenly be all dandy and peachy? If you try reason and logic, you just get bashed for “being negative” and for not “being positive.”
Even people on here (I know you mean well, not attacking anyone here for being positive) will say the same thing too. “It’ll get better.” There is no objective reason to think my life will get any better. And at a certain point, age will catch up with you and believe me, it’s no fun getting older and having all sorts of health problems.
Unless you have a crystal ball and can see the future, you cannot say “Things will get better,” or “you’ll see.” Those are ridiculous words, as empty and ridiculous as “stop being negative” and “just snap out of it.” You don’t know my life. You can’t see into the future. What gives you the right to judge me or bash me for “being negative?” Fuck you. You try having breathing issues and walking issues and come back and tell me you’re having a ball being happy with your life because all you need to do is to think happy and have hope. You don’t know anything. You don’t know what’s my reality. You don’t know what true pain and agony is. You’ve never had to grow up the way I did or had to live my life. So fuck you and your bullshit judgemental words.
(last paragraph not meant for anyone on here)
6 comments
I went from being suicidal and wanting to die, especially during my birthday last month. I spent months afraid and in the house. I didn’t leave the house for months, paralyzed with fear.
I did get better! So can you! Pray on it. I will pray for you.
Are you able to do any physical activity at all? Something as simple as walking. I have a treadmill. Had to pull myself up out of my bed and my chains of misery. Forced myself to get up at 6 am and run on the treadmill. I also run at night.
Physical activity will boost your mood. So are you able to walk every day? It will strengthen your character, make you more confident and proud of yourself.
I’ve seen many of your posts, you are very intelligent and have a lot to offer! There is nothing wrong with you. You are a masterpiece the way you are. You are special. Do not underestimate yourself! God loves you. Ask Him for guidance. I love you. Keep pushing forward. You are stronger than you think!
Yes- we’re all individuals. There is no one size fits all answer. If you can live in a state of cognitive dissonance then you are likely to be happy. Once the true reality of one’s own life becomes apparent, the pretext is difficult to maintain. Some people do get better and great for them. You are entitled to your own feelings and thoughts. It’s disappointing and maddening when others don’t get it but generally they will stay ignorant as they’re too busy getting through their own lives.
Well written, very well written. Especially the part about cognitive dissonance.
Thank you:-)
So true, people always say, “It gets better!” Well… when? 10 years? 20 years? How long do I have to keep enduring this suffering.
Exactly. Those are such empty, meaningless, canned words. Has as much utility as someone asking “hi, how are you?” Just stuff people say but don’t really mean.