I know my husband frequented sites like this.
A month ago he was successful in his quest for death using a ******** exit bag. He was 31. He left me behind, as well as two kids age 2 and 7. The pain and grief we feel is heartbreaking, utter devastation.
According to the first eyewitness on scene, my husband had a blue carrier bag over his head. There was a hose by his side. The eyewitness could clearly see the hose was on the seat next to him, his hands by his side, but he had slumped forward (he was in a vehicle). The eyewitness could not see the other end of the hose which obviously was attached to the gas as I believe he’d tried to hide the gas under a jacket.
According to police, he’d taped the bag around his neck – so how did the hose fall out? The police said he’d taped the gas open – I don’t know if they mean the actual gas canister (to prevent it falling off or being turned off) or the handle on the hose (to force the gas to flow) I will be asking this.
Obviously he died, but is it possible he pulled the hose out to prevent his death but it was too late? Would there have been enough ******** in the bag to finish the job?
Alternatively did it fall out as he died, or perhaps he convulsed?
How did he have time to tape the bag around his neck?
I know that he used the correct pure ********, and a tyre inflation kit attached to the ******** and into the bag. This is something he’d heavily researched and planned.
He left a note blaming me – this I cannot understand.
I just want to know from people with the knowledge and experience – if he had pulled the hose out or it had fallen out at some point, would he have suffered? Would he have had the panic from CO2 or lack of oxygen? Or would he have just stayed unconscious and not known anything?
Is it possible he pulled the hose out during the time he was falling unconscious or is it more likely it fell out? It was apparently a curly hose with a trigger handle, a bit like a petrol (gas) pump handle, so I am assuming unless he taped it open (which we don’t know yet) he had to hold the handle to force the gas out.
I know he is dead. I know it worked. I just worry he suffered and I’d rather know if he did or not.
I know it wasn’t a cry for help – he was a clever man, he researched this and knew it would be fatal, he knew it would be quick and painless. I’m just wondering if he had a change of mind.
5 comments
He didn’t suffer at all! I’m sorry he blamed you. His decision is not your fault. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I have some questions about his mental health and what he may have tried to fight depression, but I’ll stick to the point. To answer your question, from what I’ve read in a year of exit bag research, it should have been painless. But still there are many cases where it doesn’t work, usually due to the gas being impure. You can probably find firsthand testimonies here on this site by searching for “bag failed” (that’s how I found this site). There are a few reports of panic or a burning sensation, but these people immediately ripped the bag off and lived to talk about it. It seems like any pain or panic is immediate within the first few breaths. No one ever reports peacefully drifting off, then suddenly feeling pain. And in the case of pain, as soon as the hose is ripped off, the person quickly regains consciousness.
So all of this leads me to believe he was already unconscious or technically dead when the hose came unhooked, so it was an involuntary convulsion that caused the hose to come unhooked. He did not suffer.
I don’t know if that makes it any easier to bear, but maybe it’s a small comfort.
Agreed. Most likely involuntary convulsion took away the hose.
I know next to nothing about me*hods, so I apologize; I can’t help you there.
I am truly sorry for your loss. I worry far more about about you and the kids than I do him, simply because there is nothing anyone here can do for him.
Make sure you take care of yourself. Consider getting help, and/or joining support groups to connect with people who can relate to your experience.
Get help & support for those wonderful kids, too. They neither asked for nor deserve this.
Sorry for your loss and hope you find answers to your questions.
From what you report, if your husband suffered he would have removed the bag. As above, the hose may have fallen out due to pressure perhaps or movement.