Mornings have always been really rough for me, probably the worst part of my day. I’ll often wake up crying, or start crying as reality quickly smacks punches me in the face again, separating dreams from what is real. Sometimes it’s due to a specific thing in mind, some stupid occurrence of whatever happened the day before. But most of the time it’s just this generalized sense of melancholy that follows me everywhere I go. Sometimes it is a storm, rising up quickly within the blink of an eye, with loud thunder grumbling about my onerous existence, accompanied with lightening strikes of rancorous contempt that leave scars on my wrists. Other times it is overcast and gloomy, like the fact I am still alive manifests as a deep, dull, aching pain that cannot be alleviated with any amount of Tylenol, Motrin, you name it.
My question to you is, are mornings as arduous to you as they are to me?
Or what seems to be the worst part of your day?
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Every morning I wake up and immediately fall into a blinding stupor of frenzied activity to get ready for work, making sure I leave before 4:30am and have had at least something of substance to eat, and enough coffee to kill an elephant. By the time I’m on the road, if I’m still nodding off, I slap myself several times and drink the rest of my coffee.
By the time I’m at work, my conscious mind has not even registered the fact that I’m awake. That usually happens around 8am.
By the time I get home, it’s like I’ve lived the entire day in a dreamlike haze of heat-stroke induced torpor. And then I write a comment on SP after chasing my cat around the apartment because he’s in one of his moods where all he wants to do is attack string.
I would say the part of the day between the frenzied morning activity, and the going to sleep at night is the worst part of the day.
I’ve been sleeping all day for the last 6 years. So I don’t have to deal with waking up. It’s nice. To sleep until 7 PM. But then I am up all night in the dark alone with very creepy vibes surrounding me. Then I will usually eat dinner watch tv for an hour and go back to sleep. When I can’t sleep at night I will clean and watch tv. Nothing much more for me to do.
I don’t like the mornings either. Another day of life awaits. If I could sleep soundly, 24hrs/day would work for me right now.