Tomorrow is my first official day at university, and I can already feel the crushing pressure. I’m feeling really anxious. Maybe some part of it can be due to the obvious “new stage” I’m going through in my life, but I’m really sure most of it is due to the whole “adult responsibilities” thingy I’m also going through. My anxiety is really killing me now.
For example, driving. I. Can’t. Fucking. Drive. A car. I get really really anxious and feel I’m going to fuck up, plus I have a fear of speed.
Also, I did a little research about some of the teachers I’m going to have, and I found out most of them are total bitches, strict and demanding. That puts me in a bad spot since I have a scholarship to keep, and now there’s not much room to make mistakes. It’s really sad how institutions like my college prioritize money over anything else.
I hope I don’t fuck up much this semester. Guess I can’t lower my expectations any more.
7 comments
College. Yep. So stressed, socially inept and scared, I flunked out of my 1st semester. Took the rest of the year off, then went to another, smaller school the following fall. I had a panic attack I remember like it was yesterday. Deferred a semester and went back in the spring. Long story short, with help I got the hang of it. I messed up. It didn’t kill me. Nobody wants to fuck up. But if you do fuck up, you get to live and fight another day. Do your best. Control what you have control over. Enjoy the experience. Be patient with yourself. BTW…what are you studying?
Thanks for the kind words. And I’m so sorry to hear that happened, but hey, in the end I guess those are things that get sorted out in the end huh?
I’m going to study engineering in biotechnology.
Damn impressive! I am sure you’re gonna do fine. Just *try* to relax. Enjoy the “college experience” 🙂 Good luck!
Good luck. It’s understandable with anxiety about the whole ‘adult responsibilities’ thingy and just starting at a new place in general, I’m sure you’ll pull through. I would’ve been in the same position this year, but a lot of things have happened (not working out) so it’s likely that I’m going to take the year out. It’s unfortunate about the teachers you’re going to have – hopefully they’ll warm up and won’t be as bad later on. I can’t drive as well by the way, so you’re not alone.
So…how’d it go? How are you doing?
Sorry for the late reply.
I guess I’ve been keeping up considerably well, although it’s just the beginning. However they’ve told me I HAVE to join some sort of sport or cultural group, and I have no talent whatsoever nor any social interaction skills but eh… Guess it could be worse.
No problem. So far so good…keep up the good work! Think a smaller group might be more beneficial to you?