Every night i get ready to go to sleep and i get off the phone and stare into the darkness then I just think and think and cry, internally. Then I get on the phone and stay up scrolling on Facebook and Instagram and respond to some unopened snapchats. I changed the song to something I know will make me upset but it’s comforting. I get off the phone finally and close my eyes but then the feeling of emptiness creeps back into my body and the internal tears start again. I cant explain them and that honestly just pisses me off. I have no f*cking reason to be sad but depression doesn’t care who you are. I make a last attempt to distract myself with the phone but tell myself only a few minutes. Those minutes turn into hours that turn into all nighters. But its my only form of distraction. Im so tired of being tired but its not the phone that keeps me up. I can stay up the same amount of hours because mental illnesses symptoms use my body like a 24/7 dinner and I don’t get to sleep until they decide to leave because they have had enough.
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How I feel all the time..
I go to sleep about 6 in the morning not because of mental illness or anything that is just how my body works since a young age. So I feel you on that all-nighter thing! If only I had something to do other than watch shitty cable and browse internet and write! Usually I’d smoke a few hits and pass out at a reasonable hour and wake up at a reasonable tim.. now I’m on probation and can’t smoke so I can’t sleep :/ so that’s my advice if it is legal where you are.
My parents found my weed and now im to lazy to buy more idk they just keep going through my shit so like idek
Im also on probation but like i dont get tested anymore
Do you smoke frequently? did it help you sleep?
Yea i did i think its the problem
I feel the same. Mental illness is like being exhausted but sleeping doesn’t cure it because you’re an insomniac and you’re an insomniac because you think too much because of your mental illness.
Yesterday I woke up feeling different I felt I was dead like half of my brain was shut off – the left half. It was like I woke up at an hour I shouldn’t have thinking did something terrible just happen, I feel dead.
Pretty much it’s always like that when i wake up i am pretty much still asleep and cant fall back asleep
Um that comment didn’t make sense im kinda buzzed rn off something else
I was about to post something similar. Have you tried meds? I’ve wanted to try sleeping pills for a while just to stop these all nighters because of mental illness.
I have tried Ativan gave me weird nightmares. One time I took too many and the whole next day I could not get out of bed.. I was so groggy I couldn’t even move. So never take more than recommended.
^THIS. Yes. With sleeping pills you really have to follow the directions because taking more than the right dose will screw you up bad. I don’t know about ativan, but I know the half life of Benadryl is 12 HOURS. So if you take 2 pills at night and sleep for 12 hours, you’ll wake up feeling like you just took another pill. Benadryl is pretty weak so I can’t imagine what it’s like waking up with ativan or neurontin in your system. Talk about setting yourself up for a day of depression.