So I’ll get straight to the point, some of my friends were basically laughing with my suicide attempt.
They did this by sending a meme in our messenger group chat that described my suicide attempt. The person that sent it says that another friends did it, which CAN be the truth because I know that they were together. But he also says that it wasn’t him, and they both look like they would do it. When I said something about it someone else just replied “What does it matter?”, and that hurt a damn fucking lot.
Now they’re saying that I shouldn’t be so triggered because I made a joke about cutting 2 days before. Well, someone sent a meme about cutting, and everyone was making some small jokes, so the joke I made was “cutting is f4 the cul kidz”, which was 100% sarcastic. You see, making jokes like that helps me deal with the fact that I do it, and I know some other people who also cut and/or are suicidal and depressed that do the exact same thing (they aren’t in that group chat tho)
There was someone who also cuts in that group chat tho. She was the one who sent the picture, but it seems like she had a hard time dealing with these jokes. But in my opinion all the people who said something about it are at fault, but no, everyone just blamed me for saying that 1 thing. I mean, it’s not her fault, and I should have thought about what I said before I sent that message. I also felt awful for saying that, and I still do. I also immediately apologised to her.
But I’m sorry, in my opinion making a joke like mine about cutting and a joke about my suicide attempt are one a whole different level. The people who commented on me making that joke seem to okay with that joke on top all this. Like how?!
There are still people who I’m friends with in that chat, but they’re always together. So now gotta choose between staying in that chat (and basically friends with them) or leaving them and be all alone again, like before my suicide attempt.
There is someone else I chat with sometimes, but I’m too scared to ask other people to hang out with me because I’m used to getting a no or other things like that.
What would you do?
4 comments
Personally what I did in a similar situation was leave everyone who wasnt in my vision and sought to improve myself and eventually I found great people who I´d consider my closest friends. You don´t deserve people who laugh at something serious as suicide and being so many quality people out their it isn´t that hard. I´d recommend you start by joining clubs or places that suit your interest and eventually you´ll build a new social circle.
Yeah, seems like the logical thing to do, but I can’t handle being alone.
I am also too scared to join a club without someone I already know also joining that club. I’m sadly enough too afraid to talk to strangers as long as they don’t talk to me first.
Ya I had some people do some nasty stuff like that to me I just choose to ignore it and remember them as pathetic folk.
Yeah, at first I also ignored it, but they are just being too much to handle, and I also can’t handle loneliness. That’s why deciding is so hard.
But yeah, they might actually be pathetic, but so am I sometimes.
The difference is that when I realise I did something wrong, I do my best not to do that again. And well, they don’t.