September 16th, 2017by Ellen87

I cannot take this life anymore, think ill call it quits. Tired of being homeless, tired of bein broke, tired of my mom judging me for being jobless no matter how long n hard ive tried to get a job, tired of having health problems, tired of bein a single parent, tired of feelin like im never good enough, tired of men treatin me like im disposable n unworthy, tired of wondering whats in my future if there is 1.

I just dont want to do this anymore. I want to be free from people and from myself. I just really need a break. Ive struggled ever since i entered this world and im just too tired to keep going on struggling.

Im so terrified of dying though. The thought of not breathing anymore. N what if i go to hell and punished for all eternity because i couldnt handle living a rough life and just wanted to be at peace. Nothing was ever easy for me, what makes me think it will be easier in death? Maybe i was always meant to be in physical, mental an emotional pain forever. Maybe god put me here as a test to see how long i can last. Rarely does anything good happen for me and my kids.

Idk maybe when i die, ill be givin a do over and givin a better life to make up for this sh*tty 1. Was thinking a short drop hanging will work but im so worried ill fail n have to explain the mark around my neck. Idk anymore, i just dont wanna be here anymore

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