when I start driving I never want to stop. when I’m driving I don’t have to worry about my bipolar mother or aggressive brother and his girlfriend. I don’t have to think about the fact that my uncle committed suicide or that my dad used to take out his anger on me with his fists. I don’t have to think about the hell hole I live in, or the fact that I don’t want to be alive. everyday I do the same routine, I go to school, go to my job, do homework, shower, sleep, and repeat. but, when I drive all I feel is how my leg flexes to push down the gas pedal to the floor. I wish nothing more than just drive all my worries off a cliff.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
I’d just say don’t drive an expensive car off cliff. Most expensive I’d drive off is 600… oh also… jump out before it goes over edge!!
Not to distract from your comment but that’s a very artistic way of expressing your thoughts. I can imagine a short CG animated movie with those words spoken or written/while someone’s driving very fast.
I am sorry to hear about your troubles and I won’t paint any fake rosy pictures. It comes down to what you want out of life now that you’re already here. At your age I could’ve said something similar, had my own share of problems. I’ve notices the problems change over time, some things get better some worse-in my case I’ve floated along at an even level.
However I’ve also removed many things and people from my life that I didn’t need or were causing me more harm than good. And I’m working on drastically improving my life. I hit a rock-bottom point once, I really wanted to end my life but I realized I only live once and there are things I love about life and things I want to still experience and also if I wasn’t around some people who count on me would end up much worse off…that’s why I stuck around.
So I’d suggest taking a big picture view-do you have family members that rely on you? Do you want to do things like travel? Then you just have to keep fighting/get through all your problems, land a good job and life should get better. The alternative as you know will always be there.
Yeah I’ve been thinking lately I’d love to be a truck driver. A job that just drives around the country delivering whatever to wherever. My dream job I find driving very therupetic, no worry’s just focus on that road turn the music up smoke ciggies and just fucken drive!
Fuck I’ve run out of wine. 🙁
I’m so sorry that sounds really horrible:( No one deserves that. But I’m glad you find peace with at least one part of life.