There’s a before period of completely going off-the-rails and an after period. It’s like before Christ and after Christ. I completely lost myself within the past 2 years. Identity crisis has been happening with new spiritual beliefs.
Go from thinking God doesn’t exist and not believing in such things to believing in everything basically. It’s like too much for the mind to handle at times.
So maybe losing yourself is actually finding yourself, but it mostly feels like being lost.
You know you can never go back when a certain part of your identity dies.
This is not meant to be a religious debate at all. Just genuinely curious about when you started to feel out-of-touch and what led to that.
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Maybe college was the beginning. It was a wonderful 4 years overall, but it was also when the Panic Attacks and anxiety really started. And I hit a really, really big bong one night that first year that totally threw me out of wack.
The next big break was the first time I was prescribed opiates. It took quite a while to get bad, and it was always prescription pills, but it did get bad, and those pills weren’t always MY prescription. I was in a fairly deep black hole for several years before pulling myself up, but the damage was done. Being numb for years does quite a number on your body and mind.
Haven’t touched anything now – anything – in years but something broke in my head and I can’t find all the peices. Not yet at least.
Thank you for sharing! Weed isn’t as harmless as many people try to make it seem. Years ago, it caused me to have a psychotic break and I had to hold on for dear life until the feeling passed the next day.
Hopefully you will heal completely from the damage. Stay strong! XO
For me it was when my father left the house without leaving a trace of whether or not he’s still alive and breathing or dead already. Shitstorms after shitstorms came into my life after that I didn’t lose my mind I completely broke. Well that’s it for me i guess.
This is going to sound weird… but, you know, this is a Project for broken minds. My first time having sex was the breaking point. It was freshman year of college (2013), I didn’t want to do it but I didn’t have any will to stop it. Anyway, it was during it that I could feel my mind crack around the edges.
I was different afterwards: sleeping 16 hours a day, alternating b/t emotional agony or a crippling numbness, and risky behaviors just so I could feel SOMETHING. I hate how its been 4 fucking years later, and I still get that psychotic feeling in the back of my head.