So when I started seeing my latest counsellor, I did something that was maybe sort of stupid. I felt like my real life was too boring, so I started making stuff up. I created a whole fake persona and I’ve been trying to stick to it ever since. The problem is that she then referred me to another counsellor, and then I created a whole different fake persona. Now that I’m back to the first counsellor, I’m starting to get everything mixed up. I’m having a hard time even remembering how old I’m supposed to be or what jobs I’m supposed to have had. I’m sure you’ll all tell me to just be honest, but I feel like it’s way too late for that. I mean, really, my fake personas aren’t TOTALLY fake, I feel like they sort of contain the “distilled essence” of who I am, just with different details. Actually, it’s sort of fun to make stuff up like that, but I’m finding the hard part is keeping everything consistent.
I sort of feel like I was already pushed down this path because I couldn’t admit how often I think about suicide…it’s like I had to invent other issues as “substitutes.” Does anyone else have a problem like this?
1 comment
No. Like you expected to hear, be honest. There is a reason that AA helps millions of alcoholics and the core revolves around complete honesty. I know it will sound weird, but I recommend going to a local AA meeting to test telling something true about yourself out loud in front of people. It’s a room of zero judgement, people telling their demons (typically about substance abuse but not exclusively) and sharing as needed. Open meetings are for anyone. If you do share, open with honesty of why you are there. Most meetings with a diverse and large crowed will understand. Or just listen to other people being brutally honest about things you would never expect could be said in front of strangers. Ive heard it said in many a meeting (and I am not nor ever have been an alcoholic) that it is the best, cheapest group therapy and it’s a shame it is usually just alcoholics / addicts who use it.