I think about God a lot. Most of the time I’m just angry at him for making me this way. For allowing me to be a depressive. I think of all you guys out there that visit this site. I think how we all feel. How many millions there are in the world that are so messed up and unhappy. How God just stands by and allows this to happen. I believe most us here are just made this way. That we can’t help how we think and feel. That medication is a substitute to replace the norm that is within us. That some of us are alone, unloved and just damn strange, anti social etc. But none of us want to be this way. We don’t want to be suicidal or /and depressed. We want to be happy, to be loved, to have a healthy mental condition. Yet we aren’t. From time to time we get the courage to try to get better. To live. Normally. Which only lasts temporarily and we then resort back to who we are and can’t help being how we are. So I thought what kind of God would allow this suffering and pain that’s uncalled for and undeserved? Then I thought of God, who he is and how he lives his “life” . Why he created us. Coming from an Islamic background my answers are based on Islam. God is alone. There is no one equal to him. He doesn’t have anyone like him. A female version of him. Should there be one, then he would have created her. If she loved him and wanted him then that’s down to his doing when he created her. He has no friends. No mother, father siblings etc. He’s alone. God made man with free will. But he insisted they worshipped him 5 times a day. Is it because he needed love, attention, to be adored (?) but most importantly, I think he needed to be recognised of his own existence. Through free will. Any I digress, ultimately God is alone. In solitary confinement. The worst punishment of all. He’s unloved, he’s uncared for, he’s strange. As Alanis Morissette once “what if God was one of us” as in he’s like you, you who are reading this right now. You who are alone. If God lived on earth, he would be a member of suicide project. He would probably be an avid poster, lol. Anyway just thought I’d give you a guys something to smile about or have rant about. Unfortunately, my depression is very severe right now and my grammar and my thoughts aren’t coming across eloquently as I would have liked. Also I’m posting from my mobile/cell phone so struggling to type a lot. Pardon the mistakes on this post
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If by, ‘made this way,’ you mean conditioned through our interaction with the unnatural and highly maladaptive civilization we’re thrust into at birth, molded by the rigid and amoral, entirely arbitrary economic structures that define every aspect of our lives, and taught how to think/feel by parents who were subject to all those same forces, then absolutely, I agree. God is weird, but he’s at best an underachiever. At worst, he’s a spastic idiot who never went to engineering school (and it shows). More probably, he’s an invention of human beings in the bronze age, as a way to explain the horror of the constant influx of death caused by simple cuts and scratches getting infected.
With all due respect, perhaps all the legends and stories of who and what God is supposed to be are all incorrect and are simply man trying to understand something he/she is incapable of understanding.
If God wasn’t “ok” with all the experiences of all living creatures, good and bad, why do they take place? Why do we insist god explain itself to us and conform to our standards?
Fairness doesn’t exist in the natural world, it is a man made concept.
Just my thoughts.
Once, once I asked a rock to explain itself – why was it sitting in front of my lawnmower? Did it not realize I would have to bend down and pluck it out of the dirt to avoid having it impact my mower blade? Could it not have chosen a better place to lounge than right there in the grass, like some kind of troll jerk? It made me think – maybe that’s why Icelandic people have such an odd obsession with elves and gnomes and the like. It just seems like someone should be accountable for all the mundane things that never change, within a human’s ability to perceive it. Now I mow around rocks because you never know, an elf might call it home and that elf would be grateful for you not disturbing his slumber. Really, though, I just like rocks. They’re more interesting than a uniform lawn. Also, any excuse to not mow all of the lawn is good because too lazy.
Then THAT got me thinking that perhaps, perhaps ancient people somewhere went through this same process when they were inventing all the religions ever conceived in human history.
God is a rock that won’t move when you shout at it. Because God can’t hear, much like a rock that won’t move when you shout at it. God also can’t move, much like a rock that won’t move when you shout at it. Because God is a rock that’s invisible, and won’t ever impact your mower blade.
🙂
Thanks guys, I know what I’ve said is provocative and the beliefs and our understanding of God is subjective to our own lives. We are all right in our own ways because our experiences and understanding of life and the world represents who is God to us. I respect each of you guys for what you have said. Also, it’s provides glimpses of each of you as a person from your words. Thank you for sharing. I like how we are all narcissistic “sociopaths” here in our unique ways. Lol.
What if God was one of us? He’d probably be the guy sitting in the corner playing with a piece of string for hours. String. It’s like fing, and I’ve never seen a finger do a fing until I got some string, look at this thing! It’s definitely not cheese.
I have to agree. At least that’s how I’d like to perceive him. Powerful enough to do whatever he does, chill enough to not need to be recognized for it.
An excellent post, Lords Wrath. Always going to get responses to this issue.
Sorry for derailing your thread, I’m in a weird mood today. I need a long vacation and some quiet woods somewhere.
Hey, not a problem. This is the only place I can express myself and actually feel like I belong to something. Because in the real world I belong to no one and nothing. My family are the only ones that will miss me,….. dutifully. Be yourself, be whatever that makes you comfortable. It won’t be long before you go back to the feeling of uncomfortable feeling of uneasiness when going back to the world. So derail, derail as much as you want.
I actually really liked what you had to say, LordsWrath. I don’t follow a world religion, but i thought you made a curious and good point.
It’s really refreshing, but tragic, to see a person who was raised religiously suddenly begin to question the faith that sustains so many others. But I guess here at the last stop, suicide, there’s no denying that God doesn’t come around here. There’s a common catchphrase in christianity, I don’t know about Islam, that god doesn’t heap on you more than you can bear. They even have a lovely parable of a sorry sod named Job whom god decided to torture the living fuck out of but stopped short of pushing him to suicide. There’s another lovely Christian parable about a sorry sod named Abraham whom god convinced he had to kill his son for laughs. Don’t worry though! Right when psycho daddy was about to slit his screaming, traumatized son’s throat open, god was like “LOL JUST MESSIN WITH YA. GO HACK THIS INNOCENT BABY LAMB TO PIECES AND WE’LL CALL IT EVEN!” Happily ever after.
My point is, any form of spirituality that has to be taught in books is already corrupted by sick humans who write poorly. The word “god” (or “allah”) is similarly corrupted by millennia of flawed and exploitive reasoning, that I can’t possibly use it with a straight face. I understand the need to believe in something greater than the human race, we the de facto gods of Earth, because if we are truly the top dog then times are pretty fucking dark. But at the same time, I think each of us owes it to the world to accept full responsibility, as if we are the only gods in this sector, to take care of our world the way we wish someone else (god) would. This is why I disavow all notions of an all powerful asshole on a throne. Like a military platoon stranded with no help from the generals, we need to wake up and realize we’re on our own. This immediately explains all the suffering, all the disease, all the shit that happens on our planet: we are on our own so we better stop clasping our hands together and demanding a fix from the heavens. We need to be God.
Garfish, we do have similar saying that Allah will only burden you with what you can bear. It used to give me strength but now I’m just tired of carrying the burdens. I used to think that I was a strong character because I had big burdens. Then my mental state deteriorated rapidly and I begged to be weak character so I would have less burden to carry. My upbringing was religious from my home life but supported with an western education. I like to think that I have a humanistic approach which is probably explains my humanising God as one of us. We also have another saying in Islam “Allah knows best” this is keeping me sane currently. I know that my small brain cannot comprehend the logic of a being who created the earth, the sun, the moon and everything within the universe. The magnificence of all the creations down to the single atom to the galaxies of the universe comes from a mind beyond comprehension of all the combined human minds ever to have lived. So he’s logic, I believe is incomprehensible to us dwellers of his master plan. Yet, when it comes to pain and suffering of humans, I rebel and just have to question the good or the purpose of this?
I think the danger lies in believing in an all powerful god with supreme logic. Thats how people start believing their actions are all part of God’s logic, no matter how horrible.
I suppose it comes down to the differences in the gods we worship. My god is not all powerful, but one god among many. An “Eternal Ideal” if you’d like, powerless to do anything unless it is through the actions of those that take up her name.
I “was” a believer even in my hardest times. Not anymore. He is a sick man.
I FUCKING HATE GOD
I don’t want to offend this is just my own belief and it happens to differ from some.
I believe in God. That he doesn’t give us more than we can handle with his help. I don’t know why everything is the way it is, and I have had times where I have hated God for making me this way as well. But I always come back to God and when I do I find that he has been with me the whole time…I just wasn’t putting myself in a place where I could hear him. I believe that he loves us and that somehow this world is the best way for us to learn and grow. I also believe in the devil as well. Not having an eternal view I don’t think that we always see things quite how God does.
Anyways, just thought I’d chip in a different perspective. I’m in a good patch personally right now. Still want to kill myself sometimes but not near as often as I used to (which was daily). Exercise has honestly been huge for me. I’ve never done it consistently (or really at all) in my life, and recently about two weeks into a three day a week bodyweight program I realized I felt almost “normal”. It had been 10 years since that. Since that day I’ve had my ups and downs but it has been so much better. Everyone’s different, might not help anyone, but I try to share because it’s made such a difference for me.
Hey Adam, no offence taken and nothing you said was slightly bit offensive at all. You’re right about the exercise. I stopped exercising while I was fasting during ramadan. I never got back in to it again since so probably explains my severe depression right now. I’ve always preached that exercise improved mental state, advice i should take myself. Thank you for reminding me of this.
Mordred, I wish I could stop believing in an all powerful God with supreme logic. Its something that’s been instilled in me from a child and as an adult I’ve rationalised this to be true in my understanding only. Therefore my perspective of God and the impact it has on my life and me as person is based on an all powerful and supreme God. You’re right that there is a danger to this. Maybe believing in this kind God should come with a warning :/