Alright I know how this will sound, super winy and I’m sorry. But I wish I was beautiful, I fucking hate my face. Sometimes if I look at myself in the mirror long enough it looks all distorted and more ugly than usual. I wish I was beautiful. Sometimes from a perfect angle people have told me that I’m cute, at my school we had an anonymous message board and ppl would post about me, which I hated because then I would read all these really fucking mean comments of bitches saying I’m not attractive or shit like that.
***** I fucking know that I’m not attractive, why the fuck you gotta go and tell the whole school about it? And anonymously too. That’s so fucking mean. Sometimes I see some people look at me, and I know they would eat me alive if they had some weird opportunity where that was acceptable.
Tonight at work these two two guys came in and they were kind of drunk, they weren’t my table but I saw them looking at me and when I was walking past them I heard one say “so is that one cute or no?”
Fuck those dickbags. Why do people think they get to talk about other people? Why does anyone get to pass judgement on me? Why do I have to be so fucking ugly and why do people have to sit around and talk about it? That’s so fucking mean. I’m sorry I’m like this. Do you think I’m happy about myself at all? Why do so many people suck so much.
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I hate myself. I really really hate myself. Just why do I have to be alive and conscious for this.
I can’t believe a school would allow that. That is attune to being complicit in torture. That is so fucked up. Nothing is lower than bullying. Providing more avenues rather than less /. That principal and school should be sued.
And those guys…that sucks. They don’t know anything but it still sucks. You should have told them you heard them and it just ruined your night. I bet they would have tipped big out of shame.
Beauty is relative. The “general” picture changes over time and is much different by location. Even the current trends are only recognized by specific groups in society – and im not too interested in what most of them have to say. I certainly find a few famous faces very attractive, but a lot less than I should if they were the epitome of “beauty”. Most runway models are not attractive to me – the untra thin near starving look? Really? All that makeup on gaunt faces…they look like aliens. And I have found others very attractive that friends or nasty people online have just not agreed with. And I can’t understand why they wouldn’t.
I’m sure you’ve seen that stunning woman with her odd looking fellow and wondered what she saw. First thought is usually “money” but is that really fair? You have had partners, right? Do you think they were blind or stupid? Why were they wrong for seeing your beauty?
It’s very relatable, there is no question in that. I just think it is a symptom of a bigger issue, not the cause and not the truth.
Well the rules were to not post about anyone specifically, but it wasn’t really moderated. And the posts themselves would be nice, but the comments would be pretty nasty. It’s just because I had an on campus job so I would see everyone everyday, so everyone’s gotta have an opinion. But a lot of the opinions were incredibly mean. But the worst part was that they weren’t people just being jealous, they were actually well thought out, just telling people to reconsider any good opinion about me. It was pretty shitty because it was pretty believable.
And actually I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve had things that weren’t anything. Everytime someone tries to date me or whatever I shut them down, because I can’t believe any of the good things people try to say. I feel like people only pick me because they’re either settling for anyone they think is available, or they’re just seeing what they want to see. And I don’t want to be around when they figure out the reality.
I guess beauty is relative, and I’m typically at the losing end.
This is exactly how I fell about myself, too. I still feel like this, even though it started 7 years ago when I was still at school. I have been bullied at school. Not only because I look(ed) so ugly, but also because I was/am such a ridiculous, helpless person who’s acting arkward all the time and had no friends. But back than, I was at least a very good student (even though I’ve been bullied even more because of this). But right now, I fail at studying, too. I am a total failure. Inside and out.
btw. ugly does not only mean distorted but also with acne, thousands of acne scars, hairloss.
I bet if I could se you, you’d be beautiful to me.
Dude you sound exactly like me, except I’ve never even been a good student, can’t get by on my looks, personality or brains. And I’m sure you’re not actually ugly, you seem like you are simply surrounded by ugly souls.
Also I mean maybe it’s not my place to say but I also don’t think you’re really a failure, I think something else could be going on. Maybe you’re just on the wrong track right now.