for some backstory to this, I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder), depression, social anxiety along with an anorexia. Now, for some weeks I’ve been extremely depressed, crying all the time, thinking about suicide, etc. So i resorted to heavy restriction, and this is when things became really weird.
The day that I was restricting I felt like i was in some kind of high. So happy. So in control, and my social anxiety wasn’t that bad, i didn’t panic as much in crowded areas. and I was just happy…felt strange to feel all this happiness in once. But I felt like I could do anything
Then I ended up binging the next day. that dreaded voice kept saying: Just one teensy bite. And that’s it. ballooned to a damn binge..but I felt numb when it happened and then the next morning I was extremely depressed once more. self harmed and didn’t even go to work. So today I’m restricting again, and i’m feeling pretty stable..
Now I’m wondering, has anyone ever gone through this? I feel like this is some strange shit going on.
11 comments
There was someone really close to me who used to get like that all the time. No need to judge yourself, it is what it is. As far as I’m concerned, it’s perfectly ok.
To clarify, intermittent fasting is letting yourself eat only during an 8 hour window, and fasting for the rest of the day, or for 14 hours. And you do that every day. You could eat once a day or lump your 2 or 3 meals in that window. Some people do 6 \18 instead of 8 \14.
Not advocating not eating for days on end.
Oops, meant to reply to OP, under my own comment
OK in the sense that it’s not a moral failing. Not OK in the sense that it is a state of suffering.
Im not sure I understand precisely what you are going though. What do you mean by ‘restriction’? What is that? Fighting the desire to not eat (because you are anorexic)? But then you binged? As in overate?
1. Your username makes me crave for cookiedough lol. Gimme some!!
2. Kinda funny your username is food related since you don’t like to eat
3. There’s actually nothing wrong with restricting and then bingeing. That’s actually how humans ate before we had things like refrigerators and grocery stores. People would hunt, then gorge and have a feast, waited a few days, then would hunt again, feast, repeat. As long as you don’t starve yourself and get the proper nutrients, it’s fine. Just make sure you drink fluids and have enough electrolytes / vitamins / minerals. Despite our mainstream brainwashing by big agro, humans don’t actually need to eat at a set schedule like 3 meals a day, spaced out.
There’s actually something called **intermittent fasting** which is modeled after the pre-agricultural diet. And these people were way healthier than us. You should check it out.
Don’t need to feel bad for fasting then bingeing. Heck, if I were more disciplined, that’s what I’d do. But I’m weak and cave in to cravings… That’s essentially what intermittent fasting is, and a lot of Dr’s say that’s the healthiest way to eat. As long as you don’t gorge on sweets and overdo it.
4- So how do you push aside the cravings / hunger? I’d really like to know. Thanks.
To clarify, intermittent fasting is letting yourself eat only during an 8 hour window, and fasting for the rest of the day, or for 14 hours. And you do that every day. You could eat once a day or lump your 2 or 3 meals in that window. Some people do 6 \18 instead of 8 \14.
Not advocating not eating for days on end. I know your post said you liked restricting. What is your cycle, just curious. Restrict for x days, then binge? Then repeat? Not eating anything all day?
I know Drs who follow I.F. and eat only once/day. Various ways to follow I.F.
Yeah restricting (for me at least) is eating under 800 calories. and yeah binge is when it seems like my mind is taking over and I mindlessly eat, used to forcefully throw it up, but now can’t due to other health problems (unrelated)
Ibogaine can help a person permanently manage and control their cravings
What the…?
1- Ibogaine is used for drug addiction detox
2- It is illegal in the US
3- I was asking for ways to help with not eating too much. Don’t think I’d go take some drugs.
oops that was for the comment above lol, and yeah I do I.F but the thing is I go for 24 hours and I refuse to eat over 1,000 even if its like 1,001 I start feeling guilty is hell…then every other negative emotions come with it.