I am officially screwed.
People say money can’t buy happiness. But it can. And I need money to buy braces, new glasses, for future university tuition, etc.
I just turned 17 and found out that I need to get my wisdom teeth out, get braces, and all that. Overall it will cost around $10k, maybe more. I don’t have that kind of money, and my parents can’t afford it.
I can save a bit of money if I choose to get my wisdom teeth out on a simple dentist chair. But I’ll probably freak out and the surgeons don’t want that so I’ll have to be put to sleep, but that will cost extra, of course. My mum wants me to do it on the chair to save money, but I want to be put to sleep… but I can’t risk spending more money, so I’ll probably have to sit in the dentist chair to get my wisdom teeth out.
But still, money is a big problem. My dad can’t believe he’ll have to pay $10k for my dental problems. He wants me to find a cheaper place to get it done, but my mum convinced my dad that it’s the same. He’s not happy, he’s pissed actually, and I can’t blame him. My dad is the only one who has a job in our family, and he doesn’t get paid a lot (he has an office job at a bank.) I also have two younger brothers, my youngest brother already had to get a plate for his teeth which costed around $3k.
So, I need money. I would get a job, but I’m fvcking ugly, can’t do anything right, and I’m useless. And I’ll be more ugly when I get braces (plus I wear glasses). And if you seen my other post, I feel suicidal. Though the sucidal thoughts disappeared a bit in the following days, but now it’s back. I need money for me and my family. But I’m a piece of shit who can’t do anything and as my mum has said before multiple times, I’m “useless.”
I just want to kill myself. When I’m in the car staring out the window, I imagine myself standing there, in the middle of the highway getting run over. I’m so tempted to kill myself. Every painkiller I take for a simple headache and such, I just want to take more until I’m dead. And I deal with much more shit than fucking wisdom teeth and getting braces. And therefore, my suicide will solve many of my problems. Not to mention, I’ll save my family from my fucking uselessness and save them tons of money.