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No hope

by Lostsoul_20

I receive no justice for my rape, no friends to comfort or care about me, failed hopes and dreams, a family who have no understanding or provide no solace for the pain I have been through and no love to somehow be my hero and rescue me form hellish existence. Somehow I’m suppose to live and persevere through the misery and turmoil I suffer through now for some false pretense of a better future. FUCK THAT!!! I’m tired of seeing life as precious as they do. I’m tired of living by their rules. I’m getting my escape and I don’t give a fuck whose fake feelings I “hurt” anymore.

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11 comments

duringmydarkestdays 9/1/2017 - 3:58 pm

As someone who was sexually injured by some horrible f*** I feel your pain. I hate how no justice can be served cold. Nobody at my campus gives a flying ****, they tell me to move on and get over it. Nope. Can’t be that easy, if it were I think EVERYONE would’ve gotten over it by now. Those who were lied to, used and mistreated. He didn’t even care that I was suicidal.

Sorry about making this about myself, trust me, I’m not. I’d take away your pain if I could. I’d love to take away the pain of everyone who had gone through trauma. But it’s not that easy. It never is.

Lostsoul_20 9/11/2017 - 5:18 pm

Thank you. I have no one in my environment who relates to me at all. Yet a world full of people who wanna give me advice on what they think I should do. Or how I should react. You’re not making it about yourself. You just made it more relatable for me. You’re right its soooo hard in a way many dont get. And sometimes it can all get a little too much

IdoCare 9/1/2017 - 4:56 pm

First- two things: 1 . comment me your email I’ll be your “hero” – I think I have time for that.
2. Technically speaking – your chances of escaping your environment and living somewhere far away, are really low, if you don’t have any extra money/ education/ etc…
So, you should take that anger and depression toward sufficent work, fight for achievments and make a better ground for an escaping plan.

3. I wish death to your attackers. People like this should die.

Lostsoul_20 9/11/2017 - 5:19 pm

xlonwabo@ymail.com really could use someone when I’m in crisis

justbecause 9/1/2017 - 11:25 pm

No Hope, I can sympathize with your pain. I’ll admit that I have no idea of what it is to be raped. Why, I’m a guy. I can’t imagine doing that to a women. I’d rather kill myself. I very sorry that some jerk felt he had to …. (I’m sorry I don’t have any good words for it).
While in college I knew a girl from high school who was raped. I had been told by a mutual friend about some of the torment she was going through. I got an idea of her torment when I met her after the rape. She had lost all her hair and I could read the anguish she was going through. I hope that my treating her just like friends in high school helped her to feel a little bit better.
Solace for the pain that I could give you with a shoulder to cry on an 2 loving arms wrapped around you for comfort & Strength.
It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for this. You are a loving caring woman who should be treated as such.
As for staying alive, sorry I can’t help you there. Right now the staying alive is a fight I face every day. 3 years ago I had a girlfriend that I thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She was my dream woman. I thought all my dreams had come true. Then she not only broke my heart, but completely destroyed my heart, hope and dreams. It still hurts to this day and I’ve lost almost all of my friends over her. I find it very hard to carry on. Most of the nights I pray to God to take me in my sleep. I’ve re-written the following prayer:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord my soul to keep,
And while I sleep I pray the lord my life to take.

Lostsoul_20 9/11/2017 - 5:11 pm

Thanks so much the prayer. Iā€™m not quite a believer but I did find some comfort. You seem like a sweet soul and I hope you win your fight to stay alive. You did not deserve your heart to broken in that way. You deserve so much more. And I hope you find someone who realises that about you. Thank you so much for your comforting words, I really needed them. I wish you well, tender soul. xxx

Stefan1984 9/2/2017 - 5:18 am

I feel the same, i’ve ben in this no hope situation for 6 years now. If you lie to talk you can always email me: stefan at deds.nl

Lostsoul_20 9/11/2017 - 5:09 pm

Thanks so much the prayer. I’m not quite a believer but I did find some comfort. You seem like a sweet soul and I hope you win your fight to stay alive. You did not deserve your heart to broken in that way. You deserve so much more. And I hope you find someone who realises that about you. Thank you so much for your comforting words, I really needed them. I wish you well, tender soul. xxx

Lostsoul_20 9/11/2017 - 5:12 pm

Sorry meant that for the person who commented above you some how my laptop got that confused but I will be contacting you in near future

BoredTaDeath 9/4/2017 - 12:57 am

What do you mean no justice? Like the courts failed?

Lostsoul_20 9/11/2017 - 5:03 pm

The whole process keeps falling apart every time it gets slightly on track BoredTaDeath

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