I can’t sleep at night. These thoughts, they just don’t stop. This sense of doing nothing, wasting the life, is unacceptable. But there seems to be nothing worthwhile. Two fields of study keep recurring in my mind: Sociology and Philosophy. I have genuine interest in them and I think I would be interested in doing studies in them. Money is just not the answer. I need to do something creative to feel occupied with some satisfaction. That would make wasting life a little more bearable. But these are just one time thoughts produced by one state of mind and would work in only that state. But I have too many states.
There is a beautiful song by Jagjit Singh which translates as… ‘It is about to be night, the sun is about to set. Where will we go?’ … Mornings are tolerable. You feel occupied. Nights are too truthful.
1 comment
I feel the same. What’s the purpose of living when their is nothing worthwhile. The brutal truth I can sometimes hear screaming in my head at night is enough to question the existence of myself or of many people. I am interested deeply in philosophy as well. If only my mind can just focus on living, ignoring other things that tip me off. The other things are way too important enough that they must not be ignored. But you should also go for your goals, and if you want to go into those two studies, don’t let other mental state of minds stop you. Don’t let anything stop you in doing the things you want to do.