As I write this I am sitting on a bed in a private psychiatric hospital. How did I end up here? Well I had a long and drawn out suicide plan that I was very committed to and just before the date came around I was involuntarily admitted to a public hospital mental ward. After a week in there I got to transfer to a private hospital where you can actually get help.
But, I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t want to live, I don’t practice what is preached to me.
I think about all the people on here that would benefit so much from being in my position and I just waste it. I’m pathetic, a horrible person.
I’m sorry to all of you who would have made better use of my resources, I don’t deserve this you do. Someone who would actually begin to repair the brokenness of their life in a place like this. Instead I just pace the halls and think about how I will kill myself when I get out.
I’m sorry.
3 comments
How did you try to kill yourself?
Sounds like a memory for the scrapbook 😀
Have fun in there. Don’t think like that or you can’t get out if they know you think like that 😀
Ah well, fuck that shit man. Those places make you worse. If you felt fucked before—you do after you get out. Those places are traumatic. Fuck with your mind. Just play the game. Play the game. Don’t cause too many waves. Or they’ll fuckin tackle you and inject you. Tie you down to a bed. Speaking from experience bro. Just smile and nod. Get out and block it out. Look up alternative natural treatments. ie LSD and shrooms. Even raw MDMA has been proven to be therapeutic. Exercise. Meditate. Focus on your chi and chakras. Focus on that in there and visualize yourself above your problems. It’ll help. Trust. Stay woke and strong.