I’ve noticed in most of the failure posts no one seems to blame God as me. Instead you just pray that you get better. I’m feeling awkward because I’m the only one that is angry on God for everyday that I’m alive. I am bad and I totally take it cause I was pushed to this.
You know, everytime something bad happens we are tuned up to think maybe it’s for good maybe God is working on me to give me something better. I tell you what I have found none of my failures worth living.
I’ve been in mental stress since 11. It’s been 18 years now and I am not able to understand why bad, and only bad things happen to me. I am bad luck and it spreads like it’s contagious or something. Anything I try I fail and lose big time. I wouldn’t blame me cause I did all that I can do.
When I hear people say “God wouldn’t forgive anyone that kill themselves” I wana know why he wouldn’t do something about our miseries or atleast mitigate the intensity? I just feel like I’m a puppet that gets played. When I lose I look up and say “you’re laughing at me aren’t you?!”
Ive lost my faith and do not believe in any miracles. He will let me down even after I die.