All that I did wrong, willingly and unwillingly, it’s destroying me. Why was I not a better person? Why didn’t I know better? Why couldn’t I have done better? I wish I could make up for my mistakes somehow, but it’s already too late. I want to feel pain because I deserve it. I hate myself.
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Sometimes I think that I hurt myself so that I feel “real”. Does that make sense?
Wow…. That’s exactly how I feel, my thoughts exactly.
I felt this enormous pain for the last 2 years.
Can’t take it anymore, going to finish this suffering tomorrow.
I had the perfect life and I have ruined everything. No way back, it’s the end of the road for me.
I wish you will succeed where I have failed, overcoming the pain.
If you’re able to feel guilt that means you’ve got a conscience, which means you’re not a sociopath, psychopath or narcissist. You might have some other mental disorder, but you’re probably not as bad as you think you are.
It sounds like you’re your own harshest critic. Everyone has regrets, (and those who don’t are either lying, aren’t self-aware, or haven’t truly lived), so don’t worry about it.
Hindsight is 20/20, you do what you think is best in the moment. There’s no do-overs in real life, what’s done is done; gotta move on. Hit “delete” instead of “repeat”.
^ (Sounds like a digital fortune cookie script).
I feel guilty 24/7 that I’m not good enough and never will be. Even though my rational side knows that I have nothing to feel guilty about, that I have tried my hardest to be the best person I can be, the guilt sits there regardless and it just eats me up everyday. I just want my thoughts to shut down and sink in to silence for a while.