boy, it’s been a while

..and things haven’t got better.
actually, i find it hard to label anything anymore.. the line between “good” and “bad” is blurred. that might be a good thing.. then again, i don’t know.
this is a strange time for me. the smell of autumn makes me want to relive a dark time in my life, but a very meaningful one, that time was a turnpoint in my life, and i guess that’s what i’m looking for. change.
well.. i broke up with my gf, i started looking for a place of my own, and i am no longer seeking to get “better” – meaning a more functional, productive human being.
fuck that. been there, done that, and that hasn’t changed anything or anyone’s behavior towards me. and i still felt like shit.
i need my carelessness back. i invite apathy. i just can’t stand anyone anymore.
so.. what do you think about my new (old) philosophy of a tormented soul?