Based on my last note, I now realize who I have become, and who I was. My Quinoa came in screaming and throwing ALL KINDS OF NEGATIVITY my way. Little do they know I now make fun of people who do that because it honestly solves nothing. But, it can get the cops called on you lol. This Quinoa said many things they thought were true. I thought they were full truths at some point as well. But this person is someone who I should (idk if this door is still open) talk to more, or at least learn more about them, they have a story that i chose not to expose on here just in case I invite someone to see this. I want to say in my defense that I now know why these things happened, but in NO WAY am I condoning myself for my behavior.
I moved to a different country, I had no idea what I was getting into, I was raised to think I was normal, and I though I was just a lazy peace of shit. By this point I had already lost my will to live at around 7 years of age in third grade. I was now in 8th. I came here and quickly learned how lazy I was tanks to all the reminders I eventually started receiving from my parents. I had no idea what chores were, either A I used to eat out, or B I used to leave the dishes until I felt like it. Thus when I encountered this new place I was STUNNED! But, It was doable, The place i first moved to was convenient, safe(ish) so filled, blossoming and flourishing with opportunity. I almost felt alive. My now sick creator and his now deactivated Proxy were so helpful, I met a (*** Lover Doll *** ) But then we moved. I was alone most of the time, I was working so hard for my schoolwork then mostly watched tv. I was so tired and depressed, I was losing my mind, hungry all the time, then binge eating around my Creators occasions we went out . Thus they didn’t know I encountered a demon who haunts me ’till this day, anorexia. Sad thing is that there was a lot of food, I just didn’t know how to use it. Nor was I suenting VERY important nutrients, but It’s hard to tell. A lot of people do just fine without and I apparently dove that many problems. For someone who is already skinny, this demon makes you go CRAZIER. Now I will tell you what the Quinoa was bitching about:
1 – Ratchet, lice filled, homeless looking
No regards to personal appearance. FYI this is a symptom not just a decision. Don’t believe me? Do some research. Then read think about the people who do that without the need to. Is there a pattern? You don’t truly believe they’re all just lazy do you?
2- Never helps with any repairs around the house nor cleanse up or anything
Lazy, tired all the time, scatterbrained. (These aren’t symptoms lol. Yeah they’re just characteristics of a shitty person. A shitty person is TOATS a medical term btw. This is sarcasm.) A lot of times more than simple laziness I’m not even sure if I should. It’s kinda weird actually.
Hard time communicating, hard time keeping in touch
I suck a this. It’s kind of a symptom not really, IDK why, but it happens.
I’m on ADDERAL now for multiple reasons. I hope you get joy out of cursing and hollering at a mentally challenged person. Good job. 🙂
I had NO IDEA how incompetent I am. So if my now sick creator had talked to me i’d talk to my incompetent creator and then they’d go talk to my sick creator and it would seem like I was backstabbing them. Then the cycle would repeat because of the IQ heights I’ve already discussed. So yeah. Never is it mentioned the times I broke down because I KNEW I SUCKED. Never did my incompetent creator mention that I KNEW I CAUSED MY OWN PROBLEMS. Never was it mentioned that I clearly have issues, What can I do about it? So yeah. IDK what to say about this. It’s my fault, my bad. I should have known. But IDK, I wan’t ready clearly. I made SOOO MANY mistakes. I also pulled a trump MULTIPLE TIMES. Till this day I write things on my FB wall which then someone has to tell me how wrong they are. But Unfortunately, It seems like a lower awareness, and comprehention is part of the symptoms. I honestly no longer care. Not much I can do about it by worrying, however I think I will start keeping all personal statuses to myself. e.e let’s see how long that lasts. Gosh I hate myself.
5 – overall messy
I must most DEFINITELY AGREE! This is me, I need to change, I know so, and you know what, I’ve been quietly rising, slowly working on myself. ANYONE with that much against me, and ALL that negativity can FUCK OFF. Worry about you, because at the end of the day, honesty without tact is cruelty. So there. I honestly don’t hate nor resent it. But truly do want to work on me. That’s why I’m so quiet. Why would I want to spread my negativity to others? I occasionally give advice, but who wants to take advice from a someone beneath them? Idk, I definitely laugh wen my advice would have been helpful. But that’s a different story. L8r folks.