So a lot of people might find this post offensive. Too bad so sad, sorry for your loss.
A few of you that have read my posts might already know this, but I have gynophobea, a fear of women. Besides past experiences and traumas, there are actually some logical reasons for this. But I won’t go into them.
What I do hate is how whenever I talk to a female I have to walk on eggshells. Lower my voice, lower my eyes. I’m almost forced to bow in deference just so they don’t feel “threatened” by me. And even then, sometimes it’s not enough.
I’m not one to cry unfairness because I believe in working with what you have, but my god, it’s just so op.
If a male is giving you trouble, it’s so easy to deal with him. You can circle behind them. You can intrude on their personal space. You can trip them “by accident” if they’re getting close to you, or shout that they have a concealed weapon and get the crowd against them. So many ways to win. It’s so fucking easy.
But if a girl is giving you trouble, you’re fucked. The crowd is always with them, you have to keep your distance, speak respectfully, etc etc. The best approach is to avoid all females at all costs, all the time. Which works for me.
Except I still have to interact with them on trains, at work, at grocery stores, everywhere really. Even at my martial arts studio! Which is literally the only place I can be myself, and even there they have to constantly be loitering, or “learning self defense”. Which is bs. Don’t get me wrong, there are many good female fighters, and i happened to be taught by one when i was younger (which further adds to my general irrational fear). One of my assistant teachers in another gym was also female, and she was serious about the art. But 99% of them aren’t there to learn how to fight. They’re just there to be generally insufferable and annoying. I actually don’t even know why they’re there.
It’s just very frustrating to have to constantly be lowering your head to strangers.
And they always, always decide to interact with me! I never intiate contact, I try my best to escape, but they always hone in like they’re damn targeting me.
It’s not like I hate females. I don’t. I don’t mind talking on the phone, or texting, or anything like that. I just hate interacting with them in person. I hate having to change my body language, vocal tone…everything really, just to make them feel “comfortable around me”. God fucking damn.