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Frustration with Women

by Teresa's Child

So a lot of people might find this post offensive. Too bad so sad, sorry for your loss.

A few of you that have read my posts might already know this, but I have gynophobea, a fear of women. Besides past experiences and traumas, there are actually some logical reasons for this. But I won’t go into them.

What I do hate is how whenever I talk to a female I have to walk on eggshells. Lower my voice, lower my eyes. I’m almost forced to bow in deference just so they don’t feel “threatened” by me. And even then, sometimes it’s not enough.

I’m not one to cry unfairness because I believe in working with what you have, but my god, it’s just so op.

If a male is giving you trouble, it’s so easy to deal with him. You can circle behind them. You can intrude on their personal space. You can trip them “by accident” if they’re getting close to you, or shout that they have a concealed weapon and get the crowd against them. So many ways to win. It’s so fucking easy.

But if a girl is giving you trouble, you’re fucked. The crowd is always with them, you have to keep your distance, speak respectfully, etc etc. The best approach is to avoid all females at all costs, all the time. Which works for me.

Except I still have to interact with them on trains, at work, at grocery stores, everywhere really. Even at my martial arts studio! Which is literally the only  place I can be myself, and even there they have to constantly be loitering, or “learning self defense”. Which is bs. Don’t get me wrong, there are many good female fighters, and i happened to be taught by one when i was younger (which further adds to my general irrational fear). One of my assistant teachers in another gym was also female, and she was serious about the art. But 99% of them aren’t there to learn how to fight. They’re just there to be generally insufferable and annoying. I actually don’t even know why they’re there.

It’s just very frustrating to have to constantly be lowering your head to strangers.

And they always, always decide to interact with me! I never intiate contact, I try my best to escape, but they always hone in like they’re damn targeting me.

It’s not like I hate females. I don’t. I don’t mind talking on the phone, or texting, or anything like that. I just hate interacting with them in person. I hate having to change my body language, vocal tone…everything really, just to make them feel “comfortable around me”. God fucking damn.

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MissDysphoria 10/8/2017 - 11:42 am

One thing I noticed, for myself at least, that when it comes to fearing social interactions, a lot of my fears are in my head and become they become a mirror in a way. so If I act happy and comfortable those around me will also, and if I act quiet, and uneasy those around me will notice and reflect that back on me. it’s really all in our heads. It’s just the anxiety talking so loudly that we actually believe it’s real. I don’t know if this helps at all, these are just somethings I like to remind myself anytime I start feeling that way.

Mordred 10/9/2017 - 9:54 am

Thanks for the response, and welcome back! I don’t think it’s the case that my perceptions are just my anxiety, in this case. I don’t really have much social anxiety imo. It’s good seeing you again!

PurpleK 10/8/2017 - 11:55 am

I’m sorry you feel that way. For what it’s worth, you really don’t need to try so hard. Women aren’t out to get you, and they’re not gonna freak out or feel threatened by you as easily as you seem to think.

Mordred 10/9/2017 - 9:56 am

I know they’re not out to get me. They do freak out as easily as I think…I mean that’s the whole reason for this post? My observations about that gender. If they don’t freak out as easily around you, then maybe you and I are different people. Hm, I wonder if that could be the case :/

Foundhappiness 10/8/2017 - 2:06 pm

unfortunately… in this world, so many women have now been raised to think men are bad, and many wanting them for just sex, that it ruins any chances they come across when a decent guy shows up.

Its something I notice, and explains why I gave up on this topic.

Mordred 10/9/2017 - 9:58 am

Thanks for the response Foundhappiness. I see your point (not saying I agree or disagree), although it’s definitely a different point from the one I was making.

Lowcard 10/8/2017 - 10:05 pm

I’m a guy. Most of the people who have given me trouble have been other guys. I often haven’t found them “so easy” to deal with. Especially if they’re bigger than me, getting physically violent or physically threatening seems like a bad idea. So I’m really not relating to what you’re saying here.

Mordred 10/9/2017 - 10:06 am

That’s ok Lowcard. As for your situation, I can tell you with confidence that if you have someone who is acting physically threatening, the best response is never to go backward. It’s kind of the same principle as dealing with bears. If you run, they chase you.

The best option for you would probably be to accuse the other person very loudly of something. “You’re drunk,” or “Is that a knife!”, or something to that effect so you draw attention the situation and establish the other person as the “bad guy”. Try it next time.

SleeplessMind 10/8/2017 - 10:14 pm

Hmm, read the other replies and I have to say Mordred, I don’t blame you one bit. I am a female who tends not to spend time with other females because they make me feel self-conscious, judged and ‘not good enough’.
I have never had lasting relationships with women (friends or intimate) who were “feminine”. Tomboys are where it’s at. Maybe befriending a female that is more masculine in their outlook/attitude it would help ease the gynophobia? I’m no expert, just trying to help 🙂

Mordred 10/9/2017 - 10:10 am

Thanks for the reply SleeplessMind. I feel like you totally get the emotion I was referring to. They absolutely do make you feel conscious and judged.

I have befriended quite a few females that were not like the ones I talked about in my posts. It’s definitely helped, but I’m in this strange place in my life. All my friends have dispersed to different places around the world, so I’m pretty alone nowadays.

Timel3ssDecay 10/9/2017 - 5:55 am

>I hate having to change my body language, vocal tone…everything really, just to make them feel “comfortable around me”. God fucking damn.

Then, STOP.

Mordred 10/9/2017 - 10:11 am

Brilliant. Your intellect is overwhelming.

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