Fucking Zombie

October 13th, 2017by cornflowerblue

Where do people even get the motivation to get out of bed, to eat, to take a shower, to pay their bills?
I feel so helpless, I just think that someday I’m going to end up staying in bed, losing everything, ending up on the streets, and dying in a cold alley of starvation and emptiness.

Everything makes me nauseous with disgust and exhaustion; relationships are meaningless, food is tasteless, everything is so fucking pointless, and still, despite this horrible perception that has taken hold of me like weeds in a garden, I still get up and do what I do.

That’s the part that irritates me most. I feel the desire to die, to fade away and never return, and yet I do nothing about it. I’m nervous and terrified to go through with the act. I’m a numb coward who’s waiting to leave.

I’m just a fucking zombie.

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