Suicide has been rolling around in my head since I was about 9 years old I guess, there were a few periods of remission (Im 42 now), but it’s back in full force now.
I gotta admit I don’t like it much, I wish things could have been different, but I am at the point now where Ive cracked up as much as I can possibly crack up. Ive been depressed and in bed for about 3 years now, and some day soonish the money will run out, and I just don’t have any energy, any ambition or any belief in myself to even attempt to go on. This is very much like a terminal illness, but its invisible.
I have no one to talk to and I never seek out anyone. Everyone is to busy with their shit lives in this shit world to have any time for me anyways.
I have a 10 year old cat, and Im afraid he’s going to have to go with me. That’s sad too.