Another day with racing thoughts. My mind never stops. I relive all the bad things in my life. I see all the happy people and envy them. I just wish I could be someone else. I am scared all the time thinking people are trying to kill me. I lost all my friends and can’t make any new ones. It seems like the world hates me. I am not happy with the way I lived my life I have too many regrets I can’t get over . Death feels like it’s the only way out. I have gone to counseling seen psychologists but my paranoia never stops. I have been like this for seven years it’s been to long . I never imagined I would be where I’m at at 31 . I’m a mess . My paranoia has caused me to loose good jobs . I am on ssi and miserable I never leave the house and hardly ever my room. I just stare and think about things that bother me. I hate life
2 comments
I feel ya. It sucks being a prisoner in your own body.
I like to drive
I don’t do much more than that
I have DUI though
So I do as much as you.
I have applied for 300 jobs but I can’t get hired anywhere.
Blows my mind that I wasn’t hired, so I gave up looking.
I can care less if they want to give me SSDI or not
I could wipe my ass with leaves and eat tiny red berries they have on their trees.
I will leave my place of residence money or not.
I’m thinking after my DUI expires and I get to have one last hoorah. Before turning in car keys to the lady who lets me borrow her car.
I’ll probably just never drive again because it costs 150$ to get a stupid fucking blower device which the retards in charge think is a good idea – although it was my dream career to be a truck driver.
I will never drive again.
I think
I have one sleeping bag.
I refuse to ever receive medical care for anything in My entire life. I will never get another shot or take antibiotics cause some stupid motherfuckers in that field proved to me their incompetency and how they’re all a part of this retarded scheme.
They shouldn’t have ever been born and I shouldn’t have ever been cursed to meet their retarded son of ***** ugly trashness.
But I can’t do anything than disappear far away on foot. To STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
My greatest advice is don’t go near or speak to anyone.
Don’t even look at anyone
Don’t touch anyone
If you have 5$ hand it over for what you want.
If you don’t have 5$ cause you never will and you deserve death more than to have shelter and food than stay 200 miles from any other person. Eat leaves and live in the forest sheltered by high trees. Or in an empty desert. Your choice