Tonight – I was accused of lying.
I never lie. The 3 relationships I had – all lied to me. For that reason, I would not lie to my own worst enemy. Its the vow I made to myself. And now, I’ve been unjustly accused. As if worsening depression, loneliness and mega anxiety weren’t enough – I now have someone that thinks I would stoop to the same level those bastards stooped to. And this someone claimed to care about me, wanted to spend time with me and gave me for the first time in a LONG time, companionship…
I don’t know whether to laugh at the thought that I could think ANYTHING could go good for me, cry myself to sleep again, or just step off of the bridge?
I’m so fucking done with this ‘life’ nothing but empty, jarring pain whenever I step away from the usual and try something new for myself. I just want to be – anywhere but here inside of my own brain.
2 comments
To be accused of lying when I tell the truth is one of those things that seriously upsets me.
I know I’m not always honest, but it’s never been out of malice.
Them accusing you in such a manner probably has more to do with issues they have/have had with others than anything you did. Maybe you could give it some time (duration being at your discretion) and then approach it with them again, have a calm discussion. If they can’t see reason then you’re better off without them.
This doesn’t mean nothing can go well for you, just that.. humans tend to be complicated.
That last line I definitely share. If only.
I have been lied to by my current husband ever since we first met. I have ditched everything for him only to know I was being betrayed. I am still living with him which really questions my own sanity but I already have come too far down the road to just go back. I am stuck not wanting to go forward with this life but also cannot back up. It’s killing me.