Just.. lonely. Feeling empty. Wishing I didn’t push people away.. Wishing I was more sociable and less… awkward.
I swear I am a likeable person… once you’ve known me for agggess and finally I let my walls down. This never happens so …
Hence why I’m feeling fuckin awful.
I’m probably just looking for validation from people. Just using them to full a void. You read everywhere that you shouldn’t look to people fot validation blah blah. What am I meant to do? Read a fuckin book?? Oh yeah. Great. My misery is cured.
Or start a new hobby?? Oh yes. Great let’s start going to the gym and getting fit. Wait.. But let’s also compare ourselves to other fit people. Let’s start obsessing and feeling inadequate about ourselves. Then let’s feel miserable about that too
How have I got here. I just.. I dunno. I just have to suppress it. Go on with routine pretending I don’t care
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I do the same thing. Almost all my relationships with other people is because I want validation from them. I want their ”confirmation” if that makes sense. I am addicted to confirmation from other people, because I can not give that to myself if that makes sense. And the gym.. fuck that honestly. Go out for a run instead, then you don’t need to worry about comparing yourself to other people too much.
I don’t need any hobbies or anything
I just do the same things every day hoping some insane freak won’t fuck up my life even worse
I just hide in my garage or basement
And get scared every time I hear a strange voice
It has been fucked up to the point where the only option I have is suicide or I will keep being sexually attacked
Usually there are normal ass people at the gym
The only people who show unrealistic fitness are usually those in infomercials or commercials
It’s fucking weird though.
Normal people are much better
Making friends in person is hard. You’re not alone. You have online friends?
No I don’t. Where do I go to make online friends? Just curious