Just gnawing pain. Pain that goes on and on. I no longer have the income to be constantly purchasing distractions from pain by expensive pursuits. Also I am too depressed to use what income I still have in creative ways and thus still get distracted from pain. Now I feel the pain all day, every day. One of my few bright spots is seeing the therapist weekly. I don’t even know if it is the depth of the pain or if it is the near unrelenting quality of it that is so awful.
Yes that is the only reason why I hadn’t killed myself yet. I was purchasing distractions every day. Then I couldn’t anymore. Been ready to die for 10 years but I keep distracting myself. Now I can’t. Ready to die.
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What happened?
Boredom.
The idle mind is a devils playing ground.
The devil had so much fun today.
Just gnawing pain. Pain that goes on and on. I no longer have the income to be constantly purchasing distractions from pain by expensive pursuits. Also I am too depressed to use what income I still have in creative ways and thus still get distracted from pain. Now I feel the pain all day, every day. One of my few bright spots is seeing the therapist weekly. I don’t even know if it is the depth of the pain or if it is the near unrelenting quality of it that is so awful.
Yes that is the only reason why I hadn’t killed myself yet. I was purchasing distractions every day. Then I couldn’t anymore. Been ready to die for 10 years but I keep distracting myself. Now I can’t. Ready to die.