I have been pondering and plaguing my mind with the though of what life could mean. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no meaning to life. That after billions of years of evolutions cells eventually came to bus us-humans. And that means there is no higher power or greater purpose. And that hurts me a lot. I don’t like thinking that when I die there will be nothing. And also me thinking this probes me to believe that there is no purpose for me to be alive considering so many others lived and died with nothing to show for it throughout history.
Now, I’ve fought my suicidal thoughts for so long, and I know that I will continue to just keep them as thoughts for a little while longer. But for the longest time I’ve had this huge feelings that I wont live pass 17 years old. And I’m not that far from it yet. So I don’t know. I just wish there was some purpose for humans to exist so I can feel better about things.
I tell my friends how I feel. And they don’t know what to say or what to do. I don’t either. And no one else does because no one really knows what is after death. But I feel like everything I do is pointless.
I know my existential crisis isn’t what you all want to read here, so I will just stop typing.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
10 comments
I am also suicidal and I’ll tell you, the first paragraph of this was exactly how I thought. “There is no meaning. There is no higher power. Nothing is going to happen when I die except lose consciousness. All life is is a bunch of average joe’s making up their own rules.” I am 23 now and I can confirm that those statements still ring true.
Exactly how I thought at 17*
Another thing I would like to add is the only reason I didn’t kill myself at 17 is because I didn’t have a method then my method became the usual *shot* easy to acquire (or so I thought) but had to be 18. Then I didn’t kill my self when I turned 18 because I had a girlfriend but she was just using me for drugs and sex. And I still haven’t killed myself for lack of a reliable method. I’d still like to shoot myself but I can’t get a weapon nowhere will hire me and when I try to buy even weapons that can’t harm at all I get arrested. So I have to choose a new method other than my preferred.
I feel the same. It’s the ultimate question that everyone answers different, and some answers it (including me) by saying there is no point in life. Life is pointless and purposeless. I guess that’s true. “But hey, since there is no point, do whatever u want”. If only, but life drags us down our destined path. Learn, work, raise a family. Create love and become special to others by love. Do things for no reason, but to satisfy society. We are replaceable, we are normal humans. And if u believe your destiny isn’t to change the world or do something great, just enjoy it until there is nothingness. Until death. Too bad most people can’t just enjoy life, because life doesn’t enjoy them. Life is there torture. Sometimes we just live without purpose, without passion or motivation, and by thinking and living like that, we turn into empty shells. Fill that shell by the thing that gets u out of bed, the thing that implores u to explore it. Be curious. If nature allures u, be drawn to it. Forget about humanity and society just for a little while. Think everything is fine, ok, happy. It will show on your face. U might be drawn back to the thoughts of life is purposeless. After a while I just learned to accept it. Accept that demon and play around with it. Of course when responsibilities come around, it’s hard to play with that demon. Sometimes in a way if u know that responsibility is tied to someone u like, don’t disappoint that person. Too much of life already disappoints. So do that responsibility for someone else that u like. Other than that, try filling your shell with something u like, ignoring the fact of how obsolete the individual is. Play with the demon, until it engulfs you. Too bad my advice can’t help in the long-run, and soon I won’t be able to live past 17 either. Hold onto hope that everything is fine and u can fill your shell, but to live to the graces of the elderly age, to live with the thought that life is pointless, ask someone to guide u through the right path. At some point everyone is going to need help from someone to share their burdens with, to be happy and satisfied again, or at least able to push through the ages. We are all humans on different levels, fighting different demons, needing help at some point no matter who u are. Sometimes the only sad truth is we can’t go through life without help from time to time
“Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.” ~ Woody Allen
Words to live by.
What is a purpose, and why would it help to have one?
There is no meaning, for human life nor other forms of life. Animals live only to be eaten by other animals, who’re then eaten by other animals, and on and on it goes. Humans eat all the other animals and try our best to destroy the planet. That pretty much sums up life on Earth.
Animals don’t live to be eaten. They live to avoid being eaten so they can continue living and making new animals to replace them. Making new animals must be a lot of fun, considering how much time they spend trying to do that.
I heard animals don’t reproduce for pleasure except humans and dolphins… so any other animals don’t feel pleasure? Idk.
Do they do it out of a sense of duty and responsibility? Bonobos screw everything except for light sockets and bolts. Bunnies and rodents probably just do it to pass the time. Insects do it just to be creepy. Every species has their own driving force behind it, but every species spends an inordinate amount of time doing it.
The truth is that if there is no purpose for anyone’s life, then there must also be no purpose in anyone’s death. It frees you from the burden of having to pursue some ambiguous goal that was given to you against your will. With that freedom comes the ability to decide for yourself where you want to go and what you want to do, and more importantly, why you want to do it.
Of course, the problem is that the structures within society are so rigid that any freedom you may have gained through the realization will be restricted – against your will. It’s so stupid. It’s like learning you won the lottery, but the tax rate is 98%. I guess 2% is better than nothing.