Warning: Emo-ness is a little too strong here.

October 13th, 2017by Blugirl16

(instead of creating a thousand posts, i’ll create just one rant with most of my issues, I don’t expect you to read this)

According to most people this is what’s wrong with me:
-I’m too dramatic in my words, I guess i’m just a wannabe poet
-i’m too quiet when I try to speak, because I feel as if I have nothing to say
-I’m too creepy in my expressions, and even in my anxiety
-I’m too annoying for the ones who “care” about me
-I’m too ugly in my appearance for your eyes, with my skinny frame, and my big brown eyes
-I’m too stupid in my education as I fucked up my first year of High school with f’s and d’s, however for the past two years I have gotten between the range of a 3.4-3.5 GPA, but thanks to my past my cumulative GPA is a 2.1 on my transcript, how the fuck is that fair? I’ll never get into my dream college…I really hope the school made a mistake on my papers….
-I’m too…..me, and I don’t belong here obviously

The basics:
-I’m a sad clown with wise intentions meant only to entertain. So go ahead “friends” tell me all that is wrong with me, as I hear it everyday. “But I promise you’re still important to me, i’ll always be here for you even if you hurt me”

-Am I too boring for you “friends”? You say weak words that go straight through my ears of gossip and hate, you talk nonstop never letting me say a word unless it’s words of support like “Of course he still loves you! Don’t give up hope”

-Like fuck, is everyone this narcissistic? Because if so, I don’t want to play this game of life any longer…I want to drift away, but it’s impossible. I have no money to runaway, I have no diploma or parents who care enough so I can’t get emancipated or even have a worthwhile job..

High school rant-I have to wait two more years till i’m 18 to leave this place, it’s like i’m awaiting in a jail cell till my escape, but I can’t wait any longer my patience is running low with my shame. High school for example, I got 2.5 credits in less then two weeks, I’ve had decent grades of mostly A’s and B’s after freshman year, and i’m going to graduate a year before everyone in this program of mine, but a 2.1 “Gp fucking A” won’t get me anywhere. I’m fucked literally fucked, and I won’t have a future. What have I done to myself?

Isn’t it wise to give up on life at this point? I already ruined my chances of escape, and I can’t handle failure…i’m so useless, I hate to say this but I don’t think depression claims me anymore, I think perhaps I am the monster who causes all this pain.

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