November 10th, 2017 by broken_song

Once there was a woman, let’s call her Ri.
She wasn’t perfect by any means, but she cared
She had friends, she had people she loved, and who loved her
She tried her best, and despite everything, she was a good person

But at some point, she died. No, that’s not right. I killed her.
No one noticed it at the time, not even me, but I replaced her.
I can’t say exactly when. Probably sometime last year? Maybe earlier than that even.
I stole her life, I stole her memories, I stole her body.
People didn’t notice me pretending to be her at first
But I was never good at being her. I was never good at pretending.
She cared for people. I could only alienate them

I slowly started neglecting and driving away the people who loved Ri.
Bit by bit, inch by inch I destroyed her life.
You see, Ri loved all these people, but me? I’m not capable of love.
I’m a creature of emptiness. Of possessiveness, of jealousy, and of despair
And as people withdrew from me, rightfully so, I could only lash out in rage.
To hurt them the way I felt they were hurting me.
But they were doing the right thing. I killed the woman they loved after all.
I replaced her. I wore her skin like some sort of horror movie abomination.

I felt like the people in Ri’s life were abandoning me.
But they weren’t. I never earned their love. I never earned their caring.
And to them, and to those who still can’t believe the person they loved is dead
all I can say is I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
If I could bring Ri back, I would. But she’s gone forever.
There’s no way I can atone for what I’ve done.
The only right thing to do would be to give back this body that doesn’t belong to me.
But I can’t. No matter how hard i try i just can’t bring myself to do it.
I can only lay in bed at night begging the gods to let me just not wake up again.
But it never works

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