Why am i afraid of love? I enjoy talking to her and bonding but for some reason i can’t allow myself to get past a certain stage with women. It’s like the initial spark is easy to take in, however i can never make it something serious. I always cut myself off from these connections naturally. Its not because i want to but i do it because i fear of what it could turn out to be. The tought of being in love with somebody sounds nice but it also scares me. I think I’m afraid of allowing myself to be happy with someone and enjoying this journey with somebody else at my side. I’ve done this many times but i wanna give myself a chance this time. I’m not shy or anything like that. In fact its super easy to talk to girls for me but I tend to keep things at a flirty level. I always say to myself “this time I’m down to let her in” but then my old self gets in my way and puts a “danger” sign in front of me. Its almost like I’m expecting for the relationship to go bad before i ever gave it a chance to blossom. I’ve even had women in the past ask me out and I reject them not because i don’t like em but because i feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the love. So when i tell em “it’s not you, it’s me” they actually think i just don’t enjoy their company but i actually do. I guess I’m an idiot for being this way because i always regret it for not giving myself a chance. I have a feeling this has to do with how my parents suck when it comes to relationships. They can never stay with one partner. They have juggled through a couple already so maybe I’m afraid that I’ll end up like them.
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Well, you sound like maybe you’re better off than I am. My problem is that THEY never want to go past a certain stage with ME. And that “initial spark” really doesn’t happen very often.
If she says no she says no. You deserve someone down with you. I get being upset that she doesn’t want to go far, but you deserve someone who does.
True, of course, though at this point I’ve pretty much given up on the whole romance/sex/dating thing. My life is simpler without having to worry about it. I have a hard enough time just making friends.
No offence but nice to know there are other screwed up people like myself. I’m alot like you. I know exactly what my problem is though. I’m afraid they will think I’m crazy when they know the real me.
In one simple word.
You’re not afraid of love or loving, you’re afraid of not being loved back or of you messing up somewhere around the road.
Or atleast that’s the case with me.
we shouldn’t be afraid of something as beautiful as love, yet we are.
This is comping from a girl; take it slow. Ask her if she’d be down to coffee or whatever she’s interested in. Long conversations. Connections. If she says no, then she’s not worth it. You deserve someone who wants you back. You’re too good for someone who doesn’t want you. And if she’s the one you’ll know. Go with the flow and be kind. Oh, and if you two start going steady and you notice you’re the only one doing stuff for her that’s unhealthy. Relationships are a balance. Remember that.