I’m sitting here on this cold night. Going back and forth if I’m worth it anymore and tempting to just take this hand full of my pills that will stop my heart right now.
I wish I could tell you if you’re worth it. I wish if I knew if I am worth it, if life is worth it, because some days that handful of pills you have, or the gun I have seem like the best option. There’s no point blowing smoke up your butt about all the wonderful, life changing things awaiting you as “every new day brings the promise of a fresh start.” Boring greeting card platitudes. What awaits you if you remain? Lots of what you already know – sadness, emptiness, pain. There’s no getting around any of it. If you do remain, well, know that you’ll be here with the rest of us, trudging through all the sadness and pain, wondering why, and maybe for no good reason. Ultimately, we’re just all going to die, so why wait, right?
If you can imagine something, anything, that means something to you, and you decide to stay just for that, then maybe that’s a good thing? Only you know what that might be – a friend, a pet, a TV show, a book, a song, whatever.
I can’t judge you as a quitter, because if anyone is a quitter, it’s me. Can’t bring myself to quit life yet though, ya know? Who on this site doesn’t understand the negative stigma attached to quitting? We probably all deal with it, since we all live in this world where quitting life is the “ultimate weakness performed only by cowards.” So are you a quitter if you take those pills? Hmmm. . .
I don’t know, but I’m not living your life, I don’t know your pain, so the day the moon turns blue will be the same day this quitter passes judgment on you.
Maybe you’ve taken the pills, I don’t know. If you havent, see if YOU can find one thing that’s worth sticking around for, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and go from there. Life is a roller coaster of good and bad, happy and sad. What makes you want to swallow those pills today might just pass, and maybe something better will replace it, only to be replaced by something else.
I doubt I’m telling you anything you don’t already know. I guess all I’m suggesting is see if you can, like so many of your fellow sufferers of depression and suicidal thoughts, hang on for a little while longer, just in case something a little better is waiting.
1 comment
I wish I could tell you if you’re worth it. I wish if I knew if I am worth it, if life is worth it, because some days that handful of pills you have, or the gun I have seem like the best option. There’s no point blowing smoke up your butt about all the wonderful, life changing things awaiting you as “every new day brings the promise of a fresh start.” Boring greeting card platitudes. What awaits you if you remain? Lots of what you already know – sadness, emptiness, pain. There’s no getting around any of it. If you do remain, well, know that you’ll be here with the rest of us, trudging through all the sadness and pain, wondering why, and maybe for no good reason. Ultimately, we’re just all going to die, so why wait, right?
If you can imagine something, anything, that means something to you, and you decide to stay just for that, then maybe that’s a good thing? Only you know what that might be – a friend, a pet, a TV show, a book, a song, whatever.
I can’t judge you as a quitter, because if anyone is a quitter, it’s me. Can’t bring myself to quit life yet though, ya know? Who on this site doesn’t understand the negative stigma attached to quitting? We probably all deal with it, since we all live in this world where quitting life is the “ultimate weakness performed only by cowards.” So are you a quitter if you take those pills? Hmmm. . .
I don’t know, but I’m not living your life, I don’t know your pain, so the day the moon turns blue will be the same day this quitter passes judgment on you.
Maybe you’ve taken the pills, I don’t know. If you havent, see if YOU can find one thing that’s worth sticking around for, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and go from there. Life is a roller coaster of good and bad, happy and sad. What makes you want to swallow those pills today might just pass, and maybe something better will replace it, only to be replaced by something else.
I doubt I’m telling you anything you don’t already know. I guess all I’m suggesting is see if you can, like so many of your fellow sufferers of depression and suicidal thoughts, hang on for a little while longer, just in case something a little better is waiting.