Chaos

Hey, I guess if you have posted this it is because you do want someone to remember you.? Whatever you did being, alive is not something one deserves or not. I don’t think there is a justice in this world and I don’t think ending your life will make the world fairer. I am not telling you to stay alive because life is great and all this positive meaningless bullshit. I am telling you that you should maybe not see death as a sentence. Death is just a natural consequence of life, the end of it. It is a dark place where you no longer exist. You won’t have to deal with your problems but you would never have the opportunity to prove yourself wrong, you will die thinking you are a wreck and some people will remember you as the teen that off him(her?) self, the kid with problems. You are going to become a news item during a few days, a subject of conversation, that like a good drama movie will entertain all this dear normal people. And then, when they ll be bored talking about it you ll disappear from they memories leaving only your family with pain and resentment. You said you are to die in two days, so maybe you know everything I just said, maybe you don’t. I was where you actually are, I ODed when I was 18. Now I am 20 and life is still hard, miserable, frustrating. I still feel I don’t belong anywhere and I am worthless and unable to do achieve anything. But I chose to go on with it. Maybe it is pointless, maybe not. I want to do something that I could actually be proud of, so that the people I care about will not remember me as the girl with problems who committed suicide.