i just thought about my plan of dying before reaching 20 and how weird it is and also maybe how dumb it is. it seems far away but it’s only 5 years away and yeah i wanna fucking die every day, i’ve continuously thought of stopping in front of cars on the way to and from school (i haven’t done it yet so i guess that’s good but also bad), but isn’t it irratioinal? to fully plan this out? i can’t go through with the plan but if this were just an impulse thing, then it’d be easier. i don’t know what i’m trying to get at besides the fact that i don’t want to live a long life. it’s not going to matter and i don’t want to spend my life just working and being miserable and maybe spending tons of money on therapy or something. i don’t want that life. i just want to life through school maybe and then finish the job.
there’s no point
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I planned since 12 to be dead my 18. I am still trapped here, held hostage. 23 years old now.
I planned since 12 to be dead by 18. I am still trapped here, held hostage. 23 years old now.
Sorry double post.