I can’t tell if it’s sadness or just emptiness? This feeling of uncertainty. Where am I going? I have asked this question so many times. I just can’t tell. I had Chinese yesterday and the fortune cookie told me I was going to go on a big adventure. On the back it said PANDA EXPRESS INC. A little part of me wants to believe it. I dream of just picking myself and driving somewhere. I don’t know where. Just somewhere. Drive down the highway and go. No more books or tests or worrying about making a living or what show comes on tonight or what the people around me are thinking or if that cute girl is looking at me in disgust or interest or whether my parents are as burdened by me as I think or what it’s like to have responsibility or anything like that. I’m just a dumb kid on the run really. Selfish and lazy and undeserving of anything really. Scared. Best way is out right. No place for me here. You know whenever I type it or when I think of it myself it’s fine, but having other people say it out loud somehow is uncomfortable. I don’t know.
1 comment
if you can’t tell, it’s likely emptiness. if you were sad, you’d know. you may just be depressed. people often mix up sadness and depression, but they are not the same.