“It’s over”

  November 15th, 2017 by ladolcemorte

I think I am finally reaching the acceptance stage. I have been in a lot of anguish for the last few months. Wishing I didn’t have to die, trying so hard to make things work even though it was quite obvious to anyone looking in that the damage had been done.

Tonight I went to see a movie. Just to escape the torment that is my life. It was a funny movie. (Bad Moms’ Christmas…highly recommend it….not exactly a specimen of cinematic genius but it was funny and a good way to pass the evening.  Also, Christine Baranski is amazing)

I felt really calm afterward. I was walking on the street and I just felt this wave of peace come over me. I felt calm, and even a little bit happy. Not joyful happy but…content, I guess, would be the word. I spontaneoulsy said, out loud to no one in particular, “it’s over”. I smiled when I said it, and even sort of laughed after I said it. Not a huge belly laugh, but a quiet laugh. The people standing at the crosswalk next to me turned and stared but I just ignored them.

It is over and I am at peace with that fact.

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