I have been contemplating suicide for awhile now. I see a psychiatrist and I told him about my thoughts on thinking about doing it. I have depression as well, which just makes the cycle worse. He increased my anti depressants and I will see him soon.
My issue is with my husband. I opened up to him about how I am feeling, and he doesn’t get it. He says “you look and seem happy”, but I am not. I put on a good game face in respect for my 2 boys. I don’t want them to see their mom upset and moping around. I smile and tell them I love them all the time. I am pretending… to protect them. My husband has zero sympathy when it comes to how I am feeling. He came from a household that feelings were not discussed, which is quite opposite to mine. I need his help, I need him to listen I need him to care. He tells me how much he loves me, yet I have bluntly told him what I need, but it is a foreign concept to him. I have described myself as a vase that is cracked that is slowly losing the cracked pieces. When i ask for his support he is ok for the day, then tomorrow the “pretend happy me” is back. I want to live for my boys, I really do, but I also need support from my husband. I have asked him to read up on suicide to maybe get him to see how I feel from another perspective. This is where the “I don’t give shit about my life” comes in. How have others dealth with those close that don’t get it? Help please!
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3 comments
Medication doesn’t work. It’s one big racket. Read up on it. And I don’t mean on conspiracy websites.
I dunno what to say about your husband. How did the two of you make it this far? I guess all you can do is keep being honest about how you feel, or most of all keep expressing your needs clearly. The easier you make it for people to help you, the better the help.
My grandfather died last winter, and he was so circumspect/indirect in his communication style. Sometimes he would start telling me about something and I wouldn’t have a clue about what he was talking about. This disconnects you from other people and mean they might never really get to know you past a superficial level. I know I have some of my grandfather’s traits in this area.
I don’t know why I’m telling a woman this, odds are you’re a better communicator than me. But if you suffer from some kind of psychological anguish, it’s important to communicate for dummies. Be direct and honest about what you need and want. That makes it easier for others to help you.
If your husband is useless in this department, find (an)other confidante(s) and tell them how you feel etc.
Where I come from in my family suicide is no topic to ever discuss. My family well my dad who passed away when I was 17 had the pride that foreign old school OTB(off the boat) pride. People like him will love you but will never understand these emotions.
That’s kinda what I see in your husband. He loves you of course & you both have 2 kids together and you both live for them. But emotions isn’t what they grew up to understand I guess. Everything has to floats it’s way how it always was with out any emotional distractions. But hey! were human & it’s important in your marriage to understand one another in those emotions with strong parent relationship will also help your 2 boys as well.
But it seems you understand where your husband is coming from even though he doesn’t need help and it seems your husband doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to understand where your coming from despite you needing help.
Or depending how old your boys are maybe you should open up to them. Regardless those 2 need there mom and it looks like you need them to. It’s better to watch them from that kitchen counter than from above. You seem like a sweet mother who just needs someone close to understand I hope you get that god bless you hope the best.
If you open to him about how you are feeling, then tell him that you like for his support. Tell you are really suicidal and you like some support from him