Pretend happy face – Husband not there.

  November 11th, 2017 by snowcold

I have been contemplating suicide for awhile now. I see a psychiatrist and I told him about my thoughts on thinking about doing it. I have depression as well, which just makes the cycle worse. He increased my anti depressants and I will see him soon.
My issue is with my husband. I opened up to him about how I am feeling, and he doesn’t get it. He says “you look and seem happy”, but I am not. I put on a good game face in respect for my 2 boys. I don’t want them to see their mom upset and moping around. I smile and tell them I love them all the time. I am pretending… to protect them. My husband has zero sympathy when it comes to how I am feeling. He came from a household that feelings were not discussed, which is quite opposite to mine. I need his help, I need him to listen I need him to care. He tells me how much he loves me, yet I have bluntly told him what I need, but it is a foreign concept to him. I have described myself as a vase that is cracked that is slowly losing the cracked pieces. When i ask for his support he is ok for the day, then tomorrow the “pretend happy me” is back. I want to live for my boys, I really do, but I also need support from my husband. I have asked him to read up on suicide to maybe get him to see how I feel from another perspective. This is where the “I don’t give shit about my life” comes in. How have others dealth with those close that don’t get it? Help please!

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