Hi. Imma tell you guys why I said “They would never believe me.” So I’m a 13 year old girl who has been suffering for quite some time now.
It all started when I was 8 years old, I was a little chubby girl at that time and I was bullied for it. I never told anything about it to my family, I would just say that I always have a great time at school but the truth is, I was not. I mean I had friends my age but older students would pick on me, saying that I was fat, ugly, worthless, garbage, and many more. I never frowned nor cried when this all started but every word they said was like an arrow shooting my heart. This continued for about 3 years and when I was in 6th grade, some of my classmates would call me those words again, but at that time, I met someone.
You guys know Omegle right? I met him there, he became my friend but I kind off forgot about him so, let’s just say I talked to him again in my freshmen year.
During my freshmen year, I met my Dark side, I’ll just call her Akumu. So Akumu always helped me stay sane, I was already on the brink of killing myself, then I talked to the person I met before, I’ll call him Vin. He helped me got through a lot of stuff like stress, depression,and other stuff like that. I asked him if he could be my non-biological brother, he said yes then we started our brother-sister relationship. I told him all of my worries, and all my thoughts (suicidal). In other words, he saved me from almost killing myself.
Let’s take a huge timeskip and I am now in 8th grade, which is happening right now. I’ve been judged by people, they say those words that haunt me in the past, but they add more things like I’m such a drama queen, they say I’m distant, they say I’m always quiet and they say I’m always NOTHING. Even though they were the ones who were those things.
Now back to mt non-biological brother, Vin. He left me. One of the closest people in my life, left me because I made a small mistake. I’m tired, of everything happening to me and actually this November 2 or 3, 2017, my second brother left me. He blocked me on Messenger and Facebook. I don’t know why he did it, but I knew he wasn’t fine at all.
I’ve always wanted to ask this question, “Am I bad luck?” Why does it seem that everyone close to me is leaving me. I’m not like other people here with disorders and lost/broken family but I will confirm that I’m suicidal, a masochist, and a sadist. Of all that’s happening to me, my depression started to come to me when I was in 7th grade.
Right now, I would tell others that, “I’m too shy” or “I might say something wrong.” That’s all true. I’ve got this fear when I’m too afraid to say something because I think that I would just say something stupid, so I go quiet and try to listen. THEY WOULD NEVER BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THIS, “I’m just a regular girl who was bullied and misunderstood in her childhood, even up until now.” They would just say that I’m the worthless one. That’s why I’ve had enough of it. I’m too tired.
But really, if you’re reading this, thank you for taking your time to read it, please tell your opinion in the comments or something.
But please do understand, after all, this is a REAL, All of it happened to me. I’m so so close to killing myself.
5 comments
This is like reading my same story but i’m a freshman. I understad what that is like. I watch funny cat videos just to try to laugh. Then listen to my cousins Depressing shit on spotify. I want to die to. But if anything can come out of this I’m trying to live till i’m 18 and can you try to do the same? If not till 16?
You don’t want to make friends on something like omegele especially as a minor.
That being said,
Things may feel like they are at their worst for you right now, but the reality is over time it’s just going to get worse, better in some respects but as a whole I’ve come to realise the more years you add onto life the shitter it gets, the more pain you experience and the more people you lose.
I’m filled with nothing but ghosts and pain, is life worth it? No idea.
You have a very lucid, intelligent way of writing. I just wanted to say that first.
Next the bad news: being bullied alike you are, at such a young age and without any defense, those emotional scars and challenges will stay with you forever. Yay right?
The good news: The bullying WILL end. Even if you have to move 1000 miles away when you turn 18 (like I did), the people who hurt you won’t remain in your life forever.
More good news: you know the emotional scars I mentioned? After you get away from your tormentors, these can eventually become strengths. I’m talking about if you decide to become an artist, writer, musician, actor, designer, programmer, architect… anything that relies on deep, inner creativity and the ability to look within yourself instead of copying society. I bet you already feel it. Creativity comes easier to you than it does to your classmates. Because they are plugged into society while you are disconnected, or to use their word “distant”. To be disconnected or distant from people who suck is a good thing, right?
I know the next few years are going to be hell. For me it was the hardest time of my life. But school bullying is one of the few things in life that is truly temporary. Can you hang on just a few more years? It will change.
Bullying is wrong.
There is nothing wrong with just trying to go to school and get on with your life. There is nothing wrong with being quiet and listening. And there is nothing wrong with trying to build a friendship with someone.
There is actually a principle for dealing with people which has been proven scientifically to be effective:
Start out by being nice to people. Then copy what they do. This means that if they are mean to you, you are mean to them. If they are nice to you, you are nice to them. And so on. But 1 time out of 10, if they are mean to you, forgive them and be nice to them.
This principle is called generous tit-for-tat, and it works. You always start by being nice to people, and then you copy what they do after that. But you never raise the stakes. So, if, for example, someone yells an insult at you, you don’t punch them. You just yell an insult back. And 1 time out of 10, you forgive them and are nice anyway. Because otherwise you could end up in a never-ending feud.
forbes.com/sites/rogerkay/2011/12/19/generous-tit-for-tat-a-winning-strategy/
Good luck 🙂
hi
i am a thirteen year old girl too, it’s strange to see someone who is also so young on this website…
i’ve been bullied a bit before, and i have an abusive family, so, i kind of understand how you’re feeling. but, please, don’t kill yourself. life may be pretty shit but there are so many amazing things in living. you can read some of my posts if you want to understand me a bit better, and possibly feel like you aren’t alone? that’s not usually how it works, i know…
i don’t know if you can private message on this website, if you can, you can hit me up. maybe, we can give advice and listen to eachother.