This year

  November 13th, 2017 by Cause of Death: Suicide

Terrified. Half dead. Disgust. Sit down and shut up. Stare at wall. Stare st something. Flashback. Drink a beer and think about my suicide. Try my hardest to make suicide a reality. Fail. Try again. Fail. Smash my head against wall. Try again. Fail. Slam head on hands. Try again. Fail. Punch myself over and over in throat, legs, head. Try again. Fail. Scratch open my stomach, legs, arms. Try again. Fail.

Last year. Terrified. Think of ways to end life. Try to make 400$ to buy gun. Fail. Go to sleep. Have nightmare. Try again to get 400$. Fail. Go to sleep. Have nightmare. Have cops grab me and put me in jail cell.

Year before. Terrified. Try to raise 400$ to buy gun. Fail.

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