Why can’t life just loosen its hold on me?

November 11th, 2017by kamidaka

My boss called me, she wants me back, she says she needs me because all the new people don’t make as much work as I do.

But I don’t need money. I’ll die next week. I panicked and told her I would do it. Of course, I can cancel anytime, but why did I accept? I’ll cancel now.

There’s no other option. I have to die. All of my failsafes are gone now. If they find out what I did they’ll keep me alive, but will torture me until I cannot longer think or speak. They’ll not allow me to kill myself, they’ll tie me up and watch my actions 24/7. They’ll force me to do horrible things.

I don’t really want to die, but there’s no other option. A life with constant torture is not worth living.

I can’t stop crying.

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