I’m not cut out to be a mom
he would be much better off without me in his life as dad says im not there. My 12 hour 3 days a week job makes me an absent mom yet pays most of the bills. I’m the enemy I’m the devil . I wouldn’t be going through this if I hadn’t chickened out years ago. Its all a lie, the answer is that it doesn’t get better. Wishing you were dead won’t cut it…God won’t answer you so don’t waste your time. You have to take things into your own hands.
8 comments
Kami your son needs his mother. He will not be better off without you.
At least wait until life becomes impossible, like when you lose your job or something. You’ve got a way forward for now. I suggest you do the noble thing for your child.
i understand completely. my 21 year old son would ABSOLUTELY be better off without me.
I have been so hard on my mother. I hold a lot of things against her. Still, it feels sad to hear mother’s say their children would be better off without them. Surely that doesn’t have to be the case?
I don’t think you have to be perfect as a mother. It must be a learning experience. If you can give your child someone to listen to them when they need to talk, that is more than what many people have.
Take care of yourself
I’m in the same situation. everyone is better of without me. at the same time i’ll be punished in hell for leaving them. do you also expect that? if you want to talk mail me: stefan(at)deds.nl
I like your honesty. The first years I was the father to my young daughter, I kept telling my self I was a fine father. A few years into the experience I actually started hearing from a business associate that my parenting needed significant improvement. I had no idea how to implement her advice and I deeply knew she was right. At that point I cursed myself for being selfish enough to procreate. Even worse, in the decades to follow, I saw she was spot on. My daughter was indeed the victim of my ineptitude.
But now comes the strange part. Within reason, even a somewhat present faulty parent is usually better than one who is absent. Ah but we say, if we make a widow (or widower) of our spouse (if you have one) someone else will step up and take our place. Probably so, but the fireworks that usually ensue between child and new step-parent seem like just another ready made parental failure in the works, as often as not. So you in all your sucky imperfection ( and me as well) may be the best things our children will get as a parents (though we suck). If you hate sucking at a given responsibility as much as do, then I know this gnawing pain too. I have it and hate it to this day. But in the decades since I decided to stay alive as a marginal parent it seems it was the reasonable thing to do after all.
You can’t leave your kid. That’s final. That’s true. You are the parent and you have to be there for the kid until he reaches adulthood.
You can always get a new job.