I feel so broken I don’t think I can be fixed.
So alone useless depressed sad suicidal I’m nothing yet I can’t end it. I don’t want to hurt my mother I’ve already did so much damage. I just want to die more than anything my existence is literally useless no one even cares even if they say they do no one really does. Nobody is there when I’m crying while everybody is sleeping when I’m piercing my skin with this blade. God please if you’re there just end me please.
9 comments
You and me the same Suicidal_teen45, I get you completely. I just wish there was a way out for me.
I wish the same :c
Have you tried reaching out for help? I was like you and I honestly don’t know how I made it. I kept a journal. My parents didn’t believe me. They thought it would make them look bad somehow. I hope times and attitudes about mental health have changed for the better.
I tried telling my parents but they don’t seem to believe me they say there is no reason for me to be depressed. I’m just hurting in silence now pretending to be happy. I have to put a fake smile on my face every single day.
My mom is the same, she just can’t understand why I would be depressed. And hey, I really really feel you. I always smile, no matter what situation I am in, cause that’s what you are supposed to do, right? If you want to talk, or just let everything out, please email me at elev.anna.bukor@skola.lund.se . Take care <3
Is there someone else you can confide in? A favorite teacher? Your parents seem like mine were. They are wrong. You don’t need a reason to suffer from depression. I’m here if you want to vent.
“My parents didnβt believe me. They thought it would make them look bad somehow.”
“I tried telling my parents but they donβt seem to believe me they say there is no reason for me to be depressed.”
This seems to be a trend and it’s one of the only things left that upsets me. OP is at least young and can get away from them assuming they aren’t 18 already. Also like the above poster suggested, finding someone else to confide in if possible.
I hope you’re not crying, alone in the dark somewhere. Parents have been in denial for ages. I’m trying to check this post.
i was gonna follow up what with what i wrote you before
when i asked you if we can talk…
then i read what you wrote about what happened
& as much as i’m definitely happy & relieved to know you’re okay & still here
i truly didn’t know what to say π
it must have been a traumatic experience… for your mom to see you in this state
i thought i’d leave you for a couple of days for things to calm down
then i got back & read this
“no one even cares even if they say they do no one really does. Nobody is there when Iβm crying”
& it really broke my heart
cause i feel i’m one of these people π
i do not know
how to explain
or even begin to understand
the situation
where i do “really” care about so many people
that being there *at the right time* for all of them is an impossible task π
then there’s the part where i’m forced to take care of myself as well
if not out of care
then out of obligation
& this part really takes a lot of my time
studying, cooking, eating, sleeping… etc
i feel i’m explaining the obvious
but it’s really important for me
to tell you
that since the very first day we talked
not one day went by without your username ringing a bell in my head
at least once
i think about you
& so many people here
all the time
& i think of all the things i wish to write / explain to you
all the questions i need to ask
& ultimately… my daily wish & prayer that you could find a way out of this dark place you feel you’re in now
& that things could get better <3
i think about this every day
& every night
& i feel a lot of guilt
with every passing day that i don't get a chance to talk to you
i feel & think about all these things
& they're all about you
sometimes, i can imagine that "crying" you talk about here
& it makes me cry too
if not in tears
then in pain & guilt
because here i am
with all these things
daily
inside of me
but i never get to tell you
any of it
if this is not "caring"
i don't know what else to call it
but honey please do believe me when i tell you
i'm here for you
"someone" is here
for you
& it would mean the whole world for me if we could talk
the very first time i asked you
if you could tell me what started all this pain
3 years ago
i read through all what you wrote again today
& still can't find an answer for that
could you please tell me?
can this be our starting point?
i'm okay with choosing something else to talk about…
anything…
as long as we talk…
or at least
as long as you know
that "someone" here
really really doesn't want you to go
π
<3
xoxoxo