My thoughts are really bad right now. I am being tormented by demons. The only way out is to kill myself. I am going to scope out the place tomorrow to see if it is high enough. I can’t fight my thoughts anymore they are to much. I love my grandparents so much and I know it will hurt them. They have to understand I am being tortured by these internal demons. I hope I get to go to heaven but I am willing to take the chance. I’m so lonely and these bad thoughts don’t give me a break in love my grandparents so much I hope I get to see them in the afterlife.I love my family they tried to help but I am to weak I’m pathetic I’m a loser I just want out of this life. I wish I could be a kid again with the knowledge I have now I would have been a better person and not made as many mistakes. I had so much potential in my life and look at me now. I have been sober off drugs and alcohol for two years in hopes that things get better but now I am in the darkest place I have been. I just want one more drink before I die. Please if you are reading this stay away from drugs. That’s all I have for now.
2 comments
Yeah same at least you aren’t doing harder drugs, right? I keep craving something harder.
Have you tried opening up to your grandparents? I am betting they love you as much as you love them. Something tells me that they don’t know how much pain you are in, and something else tells me they will listen. Perhaps give it a try?